Why Men Love Bitches & How To Be One

“Bitch (noun): A woman who won’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else’s opinion – be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it’s just one person’s opinion; therefore, it’s of no real importance. She doesn’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards – only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.”

Sherry Argov famously wrote these words in her bestseller ‘Why Men Love Bitches’. While one of the best dating books for women ever written, it’s often seen as too taboo to mention. Maybe it’s the title that turns people off but the content is a manifesto for strong women who refuse to lose any sleep over the behavior or opinion of a man.

If you want to become that strong woman then now is the time to take on board the concept of what it means to be a beauty in total control of herself (bitch).

You Are too Nice

There is nothing against being too nice. Women have to protect themselves from men and putting on a smile, or being accommodating or ‘going along to get along’ are just a few tactics women use to stay safe. Being understanding and kind towards a man that you’re dating is perfectly acceptable and expected.

However, the line into ‘too nice’ territory is crossed when you start feeling bad while the man in your life is having a grand old time.

In your mind, there are problems. He is unreliable, he doesn’t call when he says he will, he’s thoughtless, selfish, and inconsiderate. Why you’re dating a man like this in the first place is another post entirely. But let’s say you are but you like him and you believe he likes you so you want to invest in the relationship.

  • You are too nice when you start noticing that his behavior makes you feel bad but he doesn’t.
  • You are too nice when you feel unable to speak up about behaviors that you don’t like.
  • You are too nice when you ask for what you want and you are denied but you refuse to walk away.

Girl, slap yourself and see what is going on before your eyes. You are doing things for a man that you like because you want him to like you. He might like you but does he respect you? The answer is no. A man will never commit to a woman that he doesn’t respect, and he will never respect a woman that doesn’t respect herself.

A bitch is nice as long as she is happy. If a bitch is unhappy, then she has no reason to be nice or considerate. Her safety, her feelings, and her needs come first… always. A bitch isn’t afraid to leave texts unread, calls missed, and messages unanswered.

If you are dating a man who makes you feel like you are not a priority or behaves in a way that causes you to question his interest in you then it is your responsibility to take a step back and evaluate the situation. You don’t need to do more, to keep him interested. You need to set your standards and walk away from ANY man who can’t meet them.

Being too nice and being dumb are two sides of the same coin. Ask yourself where it leaves you in the situation? If you aren’t benefiting in any way, other than peace of mind (if that) then you’re being too nice and will get nothing for it.

You Are Too Available

The nice girl is an emotional Postmates. Anytime, anywhere, to any place she delivers her attention and energy to a man. The man you are dating might be a great guy and someone you have evaluated as the right man for you but being too available to ANY man makes you seem desperate and insecure.

The nice woman does things like accepts a date under 24 hours notice, answers a phone call when she has a deadline and doesn’t need the distraction, or responds to late night texts. If you feel special because this man has chosen you to pay attention to then you are not leading with your strengths.

Think about this seriously… any woman who is in high demand won’t be available to a man who is dragging his feet on making plans with her.

The smart man knows that a high demand woman has men texting and calling her, vying for her attention. He knows that he has to act quickly. So believe that this man is calling or texting you because the high value woman that he tried to make plans with didn’t fall for his antics. He needs an audience, and congratulations – you’ve won a ticket to the show!

The bitch doesn’t answer.

She waits another 24 hours then politely sends a message, voice note, or texts letting him know that she was so ‘swamped’ i.e having a life so she missed his attempts to contact her. She tells him ‘I hope you had fun’ whatever he did and offers two dates where she IS available, if he wants to reschedule.

The man who values you will jump on those dates ASAP. The man who is playing games with you will ‘let you know’. Often trying to rope you into another last minute viewing of his one man show just to see if you really are as confident as you appear.

Ask For What You Want

If you are dating a man who likes you, he will eagerly give you what you want. As men are not mind readers, even the smartest and sweetest guy needs a clue into what will make you happy. You have to be clear and concise in asking for what you want.

  • The nice girl – doesn’t want him to spend money on a date.
  • The nice girl – doesn’t want him to drive when he is tired so will call her own ride home.
  • The nice girl – feels like she’s imposing so she is free ‘whenever’ works for him.

Girl, please.

There is one rule about men that all woman should abide by. Men only do two things; what they want and what you tell them. Asking for what you want is how you get it. A man who isn’t willing to give you what you’ve asked for is NOT the man for you. Congratulations, you now have information that you can now use to make a decision on whether you should be dating him or not.

Everything you do in dating should be a test to get you the information that you need to decide if this man is right for you or not. Asking for what you want either gets you what you want or it shows you that you are with the wrong guy. Never asking for what you want keeps you in limbo and leaves you unsatisfied.

The nice girl doesn’t ask for what she wants because she is afraid that her demands will mean this guy doesn’t like her. So what? If you live your life dependent on other people liking you then will find yourself jumping through hoops to gain approval. Once you do, you will have to continually twist and bend to keep their approval. People decide that they like you with little to no evidence, just as you decided that you liked them. It doesn’t take a circus act for you to be liked. You are likeable. The bitch knows that, the nice girl performs.

Being a bitch is a state of mind.

The term might be uncomfortable for some but connotations aside it’s just a philosophy of self-worth that states you deserve to have what you want. It isn’t selfish to put yourself first especially when others are doing the same. The bitch is a concept of strength, power, and confidence. Men love this type of woman because he wants to be a hero. The bitch makes him feel like he’s conquered someone who is unattainable. The nice girl makes him feel like he’s won a prize just for participating.

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