7 Questions to Ask a Prospective Boyfriend

Most people who are single don’t actually understand the concept of being single. Every person born is born single meaning without a partner. As you entered adulthood you probably got enough conditioning that made you believe that you wanted to be married and have a family. If you grew up with two parents and siblings then this desire was likely placed on your heart earlier than you can ever remember.

Society tells its members to get married but it doesn’t offer a tutorial on how. If you’re single today, it’s probably because you don’t know how to get into a relationship. If you are dating men, you might be like many others who believe that men don’t even want to be in relationships. This would make getting into a relationship with a man that much more challenging.

If you are dating someone or considering finding someone to date and would like to get into a committed relationship with them then there are a few things that you need to know. This post will explain what questions you should ask in order to vet any potential boyfriend. The answers to these questions will tell you three things:

This person likes you and wants a relationship
This person does not want a relationship
This person doesn’t like you

The common misconception in dating is that anyone who agrees to spend time with you likes you. This isn’t necessarily the case. Someone will agree to a date with you or to spend time with you because it benefits them. That is all. How does it benefit them is what you want to investigate with the questions below but consider this question for yourself. Of course, you are not a selfish person but would you be spending time with anyone if you didn’t get anything from it?

Gain is not a bad word. Often we hear the saying, ‘What do you have to lose?’ but most people make decisions based on what there is to gain. Dating is no different. Someone will date you and spend time with you if the gain is greater than the cost. This is why it’s important to uncover how a guy truly feels about you.

It’s important to know that he is not just ‘killing time’ with you, and that you are not a placeholder in his life.

Before you ask questions of a potential boyfriend, you must know when to ask. The right time to ask questions depends on your intentions. Why are you asking? The ONLY reason to ask these questions is to avoid wasting your time. Your time is valuable and you are in demand. If you have low self-esteem or feel that you really like this person then asking these questions at the wrong time will make you come across as desperate and needy.

Remember that you are the prize. If you come across as needy or desperate then you run the risk of this person lying to you or just telling you what you want to hear to keep the benefit of dating you without having to invest much or commit to you.

So what questions should you ask and when?

Before You Meet

  • Are you in a relationship?
  • Have you ever cheated on a partner?

If you meet someone on a dating app then these questions are imperative. Luckily you have the veil of text to ease the awkwardness that asking these questions might bring on. There is nothing to gain by moving forward with someone who has a partner or doesn’t respect partnership.

Anyone who is in a relationship should be off limits. If you met this man in person and he was flirting with you but you discover he has a partner, bounce. If you discover that someone has cheated in the past, ask more questions. You don’t want to get involved with someone who thinks commitment is just a label. You need to know before dating someone that they honor commitment and respect their relationships.

On The First Date

  • When was your last relationship?
  • Where do you see yourself in 3 years?

You want to learn about their past and their future without being too nosy. If someone doesn’t know what they want for the future then they might be reluctant to start a committed relationship. If he is just out of a relationship, then he might be reluctant to start a new one. You can get a better sense of what their intentions are by how they view their life and what they’ve experienced in their life. This also tells you if you could be a fit for their future.

After A Few Dates

  • Am I your type?
  • Are you dating other people?
  • What do you like about me?

The reason to ask these specific questions is to get to know what this guy thinks about you. You want to get him talking and thinking about you. If he isn’t into you then these questions will bring that to light. Again, this isn’t about why are they dating you if they don’t like you. Many men want the benefit of you without the commitment. Especially if you are having sex with them or giving them gifts and doing things for them.

If you are not his type, this could be a sign that he doesn’t see you as girlfriend material. If he is dating other people, which should be assumed, you will know by his reaction if he is serious about you or not. A man who is serious about you will be slightly embarrassed that he is seeing someone else, or still searching on dating apps. He wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea. A man that is just ‘killing time’ with you will act defensive and like that is a silly question. Or accuse you of moving too fast and wanting too much too soon.

This is someone who sees you as a placeholder.

Ask these questions if you want to get to the heart of someone’s intentions about you. Keep in mind that you need to pay close attention to the answers. If you learn the information but don’t act on it, then you will get played or play yourself.

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