Dating apps are becoming the fastest way to gain a new penpal. Although they are meant to connect singles for romantic reasons, statistics show that most people don’t meet up once they’ve matched with someone. It’s incredible that 30% of couples claim to have met on a dating app when such a small percent of matches actually take things offline.
Don’t let Tinder or any other dating app intimidate you. Thinking of something witty to say is difficult, especially when you have so little information about your match to begin with. Let’s say that you’ve matched with a potential date and you want to spark a thoughtful conversation. The way you frame what you say makes a difference but there are certain factors to keep in mind.
When someone is attracted to you physically, it’s hard to do wrong. If you find that your match is someone who cares about looks then you want to find a way to send them a photo of yourself. Especially one where you look very attractive. This is not an endorsement for an unwanted sexually suggestive photo. You want to show your match that you are actually as attractive as you looked in the profile. So send them a cute photo of what you’re currently up to like cooking, gardening, or taking a scenic walk.
Now if you don’t rely on your looks but more on your personality to catch someone’s attention, it’s important to be realistic about what people typically find attractive about you. When you have chemistry, you can get away with more. If you aren’t someone who initially has sexual chemistry with your matches, you might want to be very strategic about your opening lines. The goal is to build attraction as quickly as possible. Again, this doesn’t mean that you should be sexually suggestive. You want to take an interest in your match and compliment them. Make sure they feel special and not like you send the same replies to everyone you match with.
In dating, timing is everything. You want to create a conversation that takes the connection offline, not one that creates a new penpal. It’s impossible to know someone’s schedule so just pay attention to how quickly they respond and when. Sometimes we are tempted to play it cool and wait to reply but think about it this way. If this person is serious about the app, they want to get to know you and will be engaged. If they are using the app as something to do then they will answer your questions when they get around to it.
On the one hand it pays to be patient but on the other hand, you don’t want just a penpal. You want to connect with someone who has the same level of interest as you do.
The only thing more important in dating than chemistry is curiosity. You want someone to feel that you hold their interest and that there is something about you that is mysterious and exciting. What makes you attractive isn’t just looks. It’s also your ability to be a puzzle. You can achieve this by being both patient and straight forward. Make it obvious that you are interested in meeting in person but don’t push the subject before you get to know the person at least a little deeper. Below are a few questions that you might want to ask in order to get to know the person you’ve matched with. This allows the other person to engage and show interest and tells you more about what type of connection they are truly interested in.
Of course you want to keep the conversation light and save the heavy questions for an in person meeting, or a phone conversation.
1.Most people never meet in person on these apps, are you “most people”?
2. What’s your favorite first date activity
3. What’s the weirdest question you’ve been asked on a dating app?
4. How would your best friends describe you?
5. How many dates have you been on in the last year?
6. If you could listen to one song all day what would it be?
7. Who are you closest to in your family?
8. What’s the one thing that surprises people about you?
9. Is what you’re doing now your dream job?
10. Would you say you make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
11. What makes someone interesting to you?
12. When was the last time you were really crazy about someone?
13. What is the one quality that turns you off most?
14. Who do people say you look like or remind them of?
15. What are you an expert in?
These simple questions are intriguing and personal but not so invasive that they turn someone off. If the person you match with is truly interested in dating you and meeting up with you then they will be eager to get to know you too. The both of you should be interested in judging compatibility. If you don’t get the answers that make it clear that this person is someone you would want to date, keep asking.