Breadcrumbing While Dating | How to Respond Such Relationships
Did you think getting friend-zoned by someone you are interested in for more than a friend’s relationship is the worst thing that could happen to you? Well, I urge you to think again.
According to the recent dating statistics posted by Pew Research Center, roughly around 57% of online daters say that they have an overall positive experience with online dating platforms. This makes up almost 6 out of 10 users, and on the flip side, the remaining four users say that their experience was somewhat negative.
Considering the reviews of people who found online dating somewhat negative, it is understandable if they were a target to anything we now may term as friendzone, ghosting, stashing, or breadcrumbing. From time and time again, we have termed many different stages of a relationship.
And as the time has progressed for online dating, many more terms have come to highlight for gestures and different behavior a potential partner may adopt towards you.
Today, I will be focusing on breadcrumbing.
What Is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing, in its most straightforward description, is when you lead someone on romantically through a dating app, social media chatting, or texting. And that might be the bad part for somebody already going through it.
However, the worst is that you do that without any real intentions of linking up with them, committing to them, or going on an actual date with them.
It is like what the witch did to Hansel and Gretel and tempted them to their ultimate doom. In their case, it was candy. Here the breadcrumbs are the messages luring you in through the use of modern technology and keeping you hooked until one day you realize or come to know that something is fishy.
Where many people deliberately indulge in such behavior, others might not even be fully aware of their toxicity. People tend to justify it with means of doing it virtually rather than realizing that it can have a long-lasting impact, and people may not recover from it.
Therefore, it is important to find out what are the signs of breadcrumbing and other toxic behaviors. You might be subconsciously indulging in or maybe succumbing to it as a target for somebody else.
The following are few red flags that you can watch out for so you may not fall victim to a breadcrumber or a toxic predator that will eventually break your heart.
1. Inconsistent Communication Trail
One of the major red flags that many of you reading would agree is an irregular communication trail with anybody who you would have talked to, whether on texting, direct messaging on social media apps, Face Time-ing, etc. Somebody who is not trying to get seriously involved will always be inconsistent with how they talk when they talk and what they talk about.
That is why it is important to consciously keep a check on the other person as to how they prefer to talk. Many such people don’t even take it up to a voice or a video call. They stick with texting and convince you to do the same.
2. Increased Ambiguity While Talking
People who are leading you on for attention or validation will always be ambiguous when they talk. They will try their best to stay away from anything that requires commitment, like promises or due dates.
They will never be specific as to exactly when you both can meet. They might not even be interested in listening to your side of the story, any personal information, or anything that would come back to them to answer.
They will talk about what feeds their ego and keep you hooked by phrasing things in such a way that give you hope that one day you will finally get to meet them.
3. Lead On To Your Insecurities
A generally toxic trait of someone who is just in this for the sake of feeding their own ego or feeling good about having someone’s attention is that they lead on to your insecurities. They will try to find out what your weaknesses are and bring them up in conversations whenever you try to talk about something that bothers them.
Such people only seek validation and lack empathy towards the other person. They are insecure about their own personal traits, and as a way to keep them hidden, they put your insecurities on the forefront.
4. Physical Interests More Than Anything
This is one of the immediately noticeable attributes of any toxic person, breadcrumber, or even a genuine person who may not be in it for anything other than sex has. They would be interested in nothing more than some sexting, provocative pictures and personal information that would make them feel aroused.
I’m not saying that only guys indulge in such interests, but even girls are equally to be blamed for it. However, many survey results say that mostly men indulge in such behavior, often attempting to fool young girls who might not know better.
5. Downright Ghosting
Well, this is not a red flag, but this is something you might have picked up all along as you continued to chat with someone as toxic as we have in mind throughout this article. Ghosting is the last nail in the coffin for any relationship that has to come to an end for someone who was blinded by love and unable to see through the other person’s toxicity.
That is why many people seem ghosting as something that leaves them shaken, unable to try for love again if they have been too sentimental about the ongoing dialog. As soon as the other person is done with you and might prefer someone new, they would leave you hanging without any answer.
6. Playing The Blame Game
Toxic people in a relationship always play the blame game. Such people are not even capable of forming healthy life relationships like friendships and genuine family bonding because they don’t take accountability for their behavior. The moment you would confront them with their bad behavior or anything they did wrong, they would immediately frame the situation around you.
Such people are good with twisting scenarios to take away the blame from their shoulders and putting it on others. You may feel guilty for something you may not even have committed. That’s how good they are at playing the blame game.
How Can You Avoid It?
Now after understanding what can be some of the major signs and red flags that a toxic, breadcrumbing person can leave behind, the question is how to avoid such relationship toxicity. If you want to avoid stressful evenings, take personal statement help, and if you want to avoid getting your heart broken by a breadcrumber, then follow these steps.
1. Change How You Respond
One thing you can do to avoid getting your hopes up is to change how you respond. You obviously have no control over the other person. Therefore, take charge of the situation by controlling how you react to their sweet talk. Many people break character when they realize that the other person is not behaving the way they usually do.
As their toxicity is a persistent personality trait that they are hiding initially, they become angry, rude, and refuse to communicate until they can see you being the way you are generally with them. If this occurs more than once, understand you are barking up the wrong tree.
2. Be Upfront
Maybe you are not someone who is afraid of the consequences and have no holds barred type of a relationship with the other person. It would be easier for someone like you, but for others, even if it is difficult, I suggest you go for it. Be upfront about what you are thinking about lately.
Tell them that you are not so sure about them, and that maybe the way they behave is the reason. Talk to them that it is leading you on to believe that perhaps you are being manipulated and used for nothing in return.
3. It Is What It Is
So it is what it is, you have accepted your fate that nothing about the other person or your situation can be changed. But now what? Do you take revenge, do confront them with it, get depressed, or just justify that maybe love is not for you?
Certainly not because acceptance should not only have a negative connotation to it, and you can positively accept your situation as well. Tell them that you are feeling a certain type of way, and you can’t let it go on any longer and just cut ties with them mutually.
4. Suggest A Date
You can try to insist on going out with them and check how they react. The more strongly you will push, the more they will resist without any real reason, and that should be enough to tell you where their true intentions lie. They will deflect the question and appear preoccupied for the time being. They might even agree on a date but then right on that day and tell you that they are busy or can’t meet you for any possible reason, which is obviously a lie.
5. Check If They Commit
If you ever asked someone to write my essay for me, you might have an idea about the importance of commitment. So, the first step you can take to avoid a potential disaster linkup with a potentially toxic person who is breadcrumbing you is to check if they commit. As I discussed earlier that one of the red flags a breadcrumber would throw around would be ambiguity. They will consciously try to talk you out of commitment or specifications and never agree to take you out.
You can easily check if they are ever interested in a commitment by asking them to change a bad habit or the way they treat you. If they become rude, disrupt communication, or push towards not talking about it at all for no apparent reason, that should be enough for you to recognize if you are being led on to a wrong path with a possible dead end.
6. Enjoy Till It Lasts
So what if you are enjoying whatever that has been going on? Maybe you don’t consider it that bad, and the attention they are giving you is what you reciprocate. It is important to remember that a toxic situation can sometimes not be toxic for certain individuals who carry a different perspective.
Maybe you are also never in this for the long run, so why shouldn’t you enjoy it till it lasts. There are no rules written that make it necessary for you to feel negative about something that is impacting you positively just because it usually is toxic. By all means, it is your decision at the end of the day.
7. Mute, Block, Delete & Move On
Lastly, when there is no way out, and things are getting out of hand, nothing comes in handy more than the block button. The only advantage of getting into a relationship potential with someone on social media is that everything is happening online. Therefore, you can choose to mute, block, delete, or might as well do all three if that’s what it takes for you to move on.
Wrapping It Up!
Many people say that social media has increased relationship toxicity, especially for the newer generation. The more people try to indulge in relationships online than in person, the more there are chances for the relationship going wrong. Where there is true that in-person interaction is absolutely necessary to take things forward, there is no harm in letting things start with the help of dating apps and social media.
The key is just being aware of the signs and knowing how to avoid them when you come across one. Cheers!
Samantha Kaylee is currently working as a Head of the Digital Marketing Team at Dissertation Assistance. She is a relationship advisor in her inner circle and likes to take it a step forward with her writing. She loves to share her opinions and advice in this regard through her blogs.