How To Have Influence Over Women

Before I dive into what it takes to get a girlfriend let’s talk about why having a girlfriend is such a good thing.

Maybe one day you’ll have a family and start on a great life with one partner for many years. Before that happens having a girlfriend is a lot of fun. You have someone who cares about you and thinks about you all of the time. You have someone who wants to make you feel good and make you happy. You have someone to share inside jokes with and you can tell your secrets to.

A girlfriend is a great support person to have and can encourage you when you are down and lonely.

Because humans were meant to procreate, wanting a girlfriend isn’t a feeling that will ever go away if you don’t have one. You are biologically wired to want sexual comfort, and community with a mate. If you are a straight man, wanting a woman means creating balance between the masculine and the feminine, something that the body craves.

So don’t accept or believe that women are worthless. Don’t go around thinking that you have been burned by women, and you dislike them. The body forgets far more easily than the brain. This is why you want a woman in your life, even when you are negative about women. It is natural. So to get a girlfriend, you have to first understand the reasons that you don’t have one.

You Don’t Use Influence

The reason most people don’t use their influence is because it is much easier to be a passenger than a driver. It is much easier to be a follower than a leader. The reason that you don’t have a girlfriend is because you have not used your influence to attract women. You are too easily influenced yourself, by circumstances, statements, or past mistakes.
The way to use your influence as a man is to understand the woman’s most basic perspective.

Be a Protector

A woman wants to feel safe, taken care of, and chosen by you. To use your influence with a woman means to make her feel safe immediately. This means expecting nothing from her on the first few dates except to have fun. This doesn’t mean avoiding physical contact because you are nervous or scared. This means not worrying about when you will be physically intimate. Any woman that will be your girlfriend will kiss you eventually, but no woman will be your girlfriend if she doesn’t feel safe around you.

Take Care of Her

You can use your influence to make her feel taken care of.
One habit that all women have is to make suggestions or to give input on what to do on a date. Women are always giving innocuous suggestions that slightly alter a man’s decision making. Don’t allow your date to do this. It’s easy to want to please your date but it negates your leadership skills. Use your influence by putting an end to her suggestions. Let her know that you appreciate her input but you just want to take the lead. This will put her at ease, and allow her to feel taken care of.

Choose a Woman

You can use your influence to make her feel chosen. Most men don’t realize that women are very skeptical of their decisions. Even the most beautiful woman on the planet feels that men are only interested because she is available. Meaning if a man asks fifty women on a date, he will date the women who say yes, unconcerned with what is special about each woman. Women want to feel chosen.

They want to feel that if fifty women agreed to a date with you, you would only still want to be on a date with her. Men don’t use their influence because they want to be chosen as well. They don’t use their confidence to show that no matter what woman wanted him, he would choose his date. They do this because they are easily deterred and wrought with insecurity at the first hurdle. If a woman slightly rejects you, it is a test. You can use your influence by acknowledging that she is testing you.

You can do this with your words.

Phrases such as,
“I know you’re not ready, but I’m patient.”
“I can see us being together,”
“I can see you as my girlfriend,”

Men fail to use their influence to make bold statements and speak the future into existence. If you have an attitude of ‘I know’, women are likely to accept your leadership. If you take the attitude of ‘I hope’ then women will be skeptical and test you again and again until you give up. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be with you. It is that women also have a biology that requires a strong partner, and someone who is a good mate selection. A weak minded man is not a good mate, and mother nature knows this.

So women naturally test men for resilience and persistence. If you fail these tests then you will face rejection.

The key is to understand the foundation of what women want, and to address each of those needs deliberately. Although dating seems fun, and it can be, relationships take work and intention. You cannot get into a relationship by accident.

If you do, it will take a very long time, and soon you will be unhappy. The best way to get a girlfriend is to be the chooser. Be deliberate with who you want to be with and use your influence to lead, and not follow.

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