How to Come Out as Transgender to Someone You’re Dating

It’s never an easy thing to come out as anyone to someone you’re close with. You have to upend your entire relationship and it can feel as if you’re betraying them in some way. Still, it’s better than living a lie.

Pretending to be something you’re not will have much worse effects on your relationship than coming out ever could. Realizing that you’re transgender before you start dating someone is always going to the best scenario but it rarely works out that way. Once you do accept yourself as a transgender person, it’s time to let your significant other accept that person as well.

Don’t start off on the wrong path

If you really want to date someone but you’re not sure how they’d react to dating a trans person, don’t pretend that you’re not. That’s the worst thing that you could do. You’re starting a relationship based on a lie and that’s never where you want to be. It will only lead to pain down the road. If the other person doesn’t want to date a trans person, then don’t date that person. Find a great shemale dating site and get to know the people there instead.

Broach the subject gently

The next worst thing that you can do is simply walk into the room and declare that you’re a trans man or woman to your partner. That’s just as unfair as starting a relationship with a lie. This person believes you to be one thing when you’re not. They’ve done nothing wrong here. It won’t do anyone any good to just throw it into his or her face to get it over with. Sensitive matters need to be dealt with sensitively. That’s really all there is to it at this point.

Start talking about the aspects you like

The best starting point is simply to bring up all of the ways that you feel like the other gender. Talk about the things that you enjoy. Talk about the things that just feel natural to you. You want to lay a good foundation to give the other person your point of view. When it finally comes time to tell them the truth, they can look back at all of the information you’ve given them to see you more clearly. It will help you both get over this hump and move on.

Be ready to say goodbye

Laying something like this on someone is a big deal. You have to be ready for whatever reaction they have. They’re going to be entitled to it. They’re human just like you are. Anything aside from violence is on the table for them. They could be sad, they could be angry, or they could be confused.

No matter how they feel initially, they may feel the most comfortable by simply walking away. Let them go. It’s the best thing you can do for the both of you. If you make them stick around, they may end up trying to get things back to the way they were. That’s not an options for either of you.

Never apologize for it

Just remember that this isn’t your fault. You have nothing to apologize for, so don’t. Tell them how it is and that’s it. Whatever happens is what’s going to happen. You didn’t do anything wrong. No one is at faulty here. You might be able to stay together or your relationship might end. Either way, you were honest with yourself and with the other person. That’s all you can really do in a situation like this.

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