is your partner cheating

Is Your Partner Cheating? This Is How To Find Out

Is your spouse having an affair? How can you find out?

It’s never really fun finding out that your partner cheated on you. It’s still a common fact of life that a lot of people have to get over. It’s so common, in fact, that by age 29, 11% of women will cheat and so will 10% of men. That number only increases over time. That same study found that 24% of men and 16% of women will cheat in their 60s. With a quarter of the population doing it, you really have to ask yourself if it’s really that wrong. It turns out that it might not be and cheating is not always such a bad thing says Jim Wade from instaFuckFriend.

Why do people cheat?

To get to the broken heart of this matter, we have to figure out why men and women cheat on each other. They both happen to have very different reasons and learning them will help you make your decision on whether or not it’s as bad as it seems. According to WebMD, women tend to cheat because they’re missing an emotional connection. They feel they’re taken advantage of in their relationship and that leads them into the arms of another man.

A different study by that same site found that men cheat as a way to satiate their sexual appetites. They’re not getting the physical satisfaction at home, so they seek it out elsewhere. No matter what the cause, it seems that our partners have a lot more to do with our cheating than the perpetrators do.

How do you find out?

As with most things in the modern world, cheating starts online. It’s the easiest way to find a partner without being obvious about your intentions. When all it takes is making a profile, it seems silly to go about it any other way. So, if you want to find out if your partner is cheating, hook up sites are the best place to start looking.

Destinations like Fling and AFF are where most people end up when they begin their search for a discreet relationship or encounter. It’s not a terrible idea to create a profile and do some sleuthing of your own. Additionally, these sites tend to send out emails to their members. A quick search through your loved one’s account is sure to disclose some communications between them and potential suitors.

What do you do when you find out?

It’s important to realize that you might not want to know if your partner is cheating or not. You might just end up feeling things that you never would have expected. If you do find out that it’s happening, you have some decisions to make. The first is whether or not you say anything at all. This is a great time to figure out what kind of a relationship actually works for you. Maybe you’re just better off finding your own cheating partner. There are plenty of relationships that work perfectly well as an open concept. Neither of you needs to know what the other is doing, you just need to know that you’re both happy being together in separate ways.

It will test your relationship

No matter what you do, this will test your relationship to its breaking point. It will let you know what it’s made of and what it can withstand. If you both end up together at the end of it, then your relationship can withstand pretty much anything. It’s a trial by fire that will end up making you a stronger couple on the other side of it.

Find out why the cheating happened

If you decide to confront your partner about the cheating, then use it as an opportunity to find out why it happened. Something was clearly missing from the relationship. You both need to work on your emotional or sexual connection. Psychology Today has some great tips about opening up your emotional side to the other person in your relationship. Additionally, AHS has you covered for when it comes time to talk about sex. No matter what the issue was, now is the time to talk about it openly and honestly. It’s really the best thing that can happen now that you’ve both seen what it looks like from the other side of your relationship. Use it as an opportunity to grow with each other rather than growing further apart. It’s the most important take away that you can have from the entire experience.

Learn and grow

No, it won’t feel good to learn that you’ve been cheated on, but don’t let it beat you down. Learn as much as you possibly can from it. Make sure you use it as a growing experience. Whether or not you stay together is up to the both of you. Whether or not it happens again is also up to the both of you.

Talk about it and decide together. It wasn’t just one person who was responsible for the cheating. It won’t be one person responsible for fixing it, either and that’s an important thing to realize.

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