This is how you get into a relationship.
Dating can seem complicated in a time when so many people are dedicated to remaining single. The gap between getting a date has widened. More singles over index exclusivity (avoiding commitment until they are certain of their feelings) and refusing to be tied down until marriage. The idea that people are replaceable and that the options are limitless is well supported by online dating.
With thousands of sites that offer everything from niche race to religions to vegan to pet lovers, finding a date has become a past time. Finding a relationship however has never been more difficult.
Whether you’ve been single a long time, or you’re just out of a relationship, getting a girlfriend is easier than you think. Women are different which is what makes them seem complicated but in fact, they all have one core desire. When it comes to being the man that women want to commit to, it’s more about who you are than who she is. By understanding your plan before you put yourself out there, you can create the exact outcome that you want.
The way to get a girlfriend is as follows:
- Find the right woman
- Engage in a high contact relationship for 30 days
- Ask for exclusivity
There are so many beautiful women in the world that it’s hard to feel like men have the choice. And maybe they don’t. The way to get a woman is to focus on one woman at a time. While this might be the long game approach when it comes to women it’s the only approach that really works.
If you are feeling grateful for the attention of women, and feel that you aren’t empowered enough to be in control then this tactic won’t work. If you want to enter into any relationship, you have to be crystal clear on what you bring to the table. Why would this woman want you. What are you willing to offer? People are mirrors and typically we get back in life what we internally believe.
If you have clear intentions and you want to be a good partner to someone then you’re on the right track. If you are lonely and insecure, then getting a girlfriend might feel challenging. This isn’t a guide about confidence, this is simply a procedure that will bring you the commitment that you want.
Once you’ve confirmed that you are confident enough to pursue a woman, you now have to determine who that woman is. The right woman is a woman who fits the following criteria: She is available. Many men pursue unavailable women and then wonder why they can’t find a partner.
Unavailable women are women who:
- Have recently ended a relationship
- Are currently in a relationship
- Don’t text, or call you back in a timely manner
- Make it hard to plan a date
Even if a woman isn’t intentionally blowing you off, a woman who wants a relationship isn’t playing hard to get in any way. If anything, she is more proactive about seeing each other or staying in touch then you are. The right woman is someone who makes it easy for you to date her. She is quick to reply, and happy to make plans. This isn’t because she is desperate. Ignore the tendency to devalue things to be easy.
The struggle is overrated.
We feel like if we don’t work our butts off then something isn’t worth it. That’s not true. A relationship should be frictionless in the beginning. The way to identify the right woman to pursue, is to start with a few standard questions. Most men avoid asking questions like, “Do you see me as a friend, or something more?” Because they are insecure.
Again, if you’re single because of your insecurity, then working on your confidence is a better article to start with. Once you know which questions to ask in order to identify interest, you can plan the first date.
Have A Preset First Date Ready To Go
The first time you meet up with any woman that you are pursuing it should be in a low cost but highly engaging setting. This could be a free event you stumbled upon. A movie (although the cost of movies are increasing), or a museum. The purpose of a first date is to have fun. Coffee is delicious but there are not Starbucks that rank high on any things to do in the city list. If someone isn’t right for you then you’ll know immediately by their reaction to your first date suggestion.
Remember to share the details with your date so she knows how to dress, but other than that the details aren’t critical. It’s important to plan a date that is high in fun, and high in energy.
Plan the second date on the first date.
Factor In the Daily Contact
It takes about a month, or 30 days before any woman is ready to commit, and within that month two things have to happen.
You must speak every day
You must see each other at least 3 times a week
If it isn’t possible to see each other in person every week, then every weekend. If you are pursuing someone that you can’t see in person, reconsider your choice. While true love can come from all corners of the world, remember that there are 7 billion people on the planet. The chances of finding a woman in closer proximity is high.
Once you understand the cadence to which you have to engage with the woman you are interested in, you must start to narrow down who you will pursue. In this moment you are in charge.
Over a thirty day period of engaging with any woman you must judge for the following:
- Do you hear from her in some capacity every day?
- Does she respond quickly to your messages?
- Is she excited and cooperative when planning a date?
Keep in mind that how you spend your time with someone matters but not as much as how much time you spend together. After 30 days, you should have established a pretty tight bond. A woman that isn’t interested in commitment won’t engage with you for more than a few weeks, and certainly not every day.
Ask For Exclusivity
How you ask to be exclusive is one simple statement.
“I really like you, and I’m not seeing anyone else because I’m interested in seeing where this can go. You don’t have to do the same but I would like you to.” Alternately you can say, “I’d be very happy if you did.”
Putting the pressure on the woman to be honest about her intentions is the best way to get into a relationship. Most women when they are interested in a guy have already fantasized about a future with him. Fantasies are what build connection. When you make this statement you will know where she stands, even if she lies.
Without too much time wasted you can now decide if you want to pursue her further or move on. The ONLY thing that matters in dating is compatibility. If someone isn’t right for you, meaning shares the same values and standards, the relationship won’t work.
Things to consider:
First, relationships are long. It doesn’t matter if they start off slowly, because by the time you are dating for six months, you’ll have progressed to a physical relationship furthering your bond. Next, trust your intuition. If you don’t feel at ease with the woman you are dating, it’s likely that she isn’t at ease with you. Lastly, commitment is only the beginning. Maintaining a relationship is hard part and it takes a willingness to be vulnerable and open with someone else.