credit: Elite Daily

This Is Why He Didn’t Choose You

There is nothing more frustrating in dating than wondering, “Why”. When a relationship ends, whether it was a week-long, or years in the making, most women wonder what went wrong. You meet a man who seems like a great fit into your life, and at first he acts interested, then over time he pulls away. Even though he’s giving every signal that you are special to him, and there is a chance of building a future, somehow things fall apart and you find yourself wondering what could you have done differently.

Are you waiting to be chosen by the men that you date?
If so, it’s likely that you’ve made the following mistakes and are very likely going to make them again. Although society would like women to believe in the dogged determination of men, like that highlighted in movies, most men don’t pursue women with such fever.

Not to say it doesn’t happen, but similarly to shooting stars, it’s not the norm. It does happen, and when it does it’s magic.

But if you happen to be dating the average man then you can assume that unless you approach dating in an intentional way, and learn how to choose him, you’ll often be left wondering why he didn’t choose you.

You Accepted Less Than His Best

Men want to pursue opportunities to be excellent, if he doesn’t think he can do his best, most men won’t even try. Once a woman decides that she is interested in a man, it’s common that she’ll be more accommodating than usual. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re together. Unfortunately, this type of compromise usually back fires. No one wants to feel pandered to.

When a man is doing less than his best, it’s critical to call him out on his behavior. It doesn’t have to be in a negative or aggressive way either.
It’s within your right to communicate your preference in his behavior, or to acknowledge that when he drops the ball.

If you let it go, and allow him to underperform then you seem desperate. He understands that he is doing less than he normally would, and the fact that you accept it is a clear sign of incompatibility in his mind. While you might see it as being understanding, he sees this as being insecure on your part.

And is he wrong? Either you truly don’t require better behave, which if that is the truth is another problem, but if you require more but settle for less, it’s likely out of fear that you will lose him. Unfortunately, without the courage to stand up for yourself, you will lose him anyway.

You Weren’t Compatible

Meeting the right person boils down to two factors, timing and desire. It must be both the right time for him and he must want what you want. Unless these two factors are aligned, no chemistry in the world will lengthen a doomed romance.
Timing is critical when it comes to making a relationship last. If it isn’t the right time, then it isn’t the right guy. The worst thing you is do is take this personally.

But compatibility is also built on mutual desire for the same outcomes. Most men don’t know what they want and lack intention when it comes to relationships. They rarely have a why. If you’re dating a man who doesn’t want what you want then it’s easy to guess that the courtship won’t last very long.

You Didn’t Choose Him

It might feel like you are choosing a man, when you meet someone that sparks excitement but often times women are settling for a man, more than they are choosing him. The idea that there is a limited number of eligible bachelors isn’t unfounded. If you have been single for a while, it’s hard to accept that there is an abundance of great men out there. But there is.

Being chosen by a man starts by choosing him, and this means accepting what he has to offer. If you are constantly wishing that he would do more, give more, or be more, then you are not choosing him. You are settling for him. It’s easy to feel that you really like him when he is showering you with attention but is he the guy you would choose if you could have any man on the earth? Probably not, and chances are he knows this or can at least sense it.

Understanding how relationships are formed is the first step to knowing if a man is truly interested in you. The way that you get into a relationship is by getting to know the person that you’re dating and allowing them to get to know you. No matter the length of the time spent dating, if someone doesn’t feel like they really know you, they won’t commit.

It’s important to keep in mind that the right person for you isn’t going to be scared off by superficial behavior. A man that wants to be with you will be open to working through any disagreement or misunderstanding with you.

Even though he didn’t choose you, there is no honor in being every person’s cup of tea. What is popular is rarely what is good. If a man decides that he wants someone other than you, thank him. He’s teaching you a lesson in pursuing great even when good is right in front of you.

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