The Problem With ‘Good Women’ And Why So Many Are Still Single

I know I’m a good woman.

It’s a statement that many women have said aloud, or muttered to themselves after experiencing a rejection of some kind. Maybe a breakup, or just a rebuff from a love interest, the pride many women extract from the “good woman” label edifies the pain and soothes the harsh reality that they are still single.

But why are so many “good” women single?

Is it that men just don’t know what a good women is, or how valuable they are? Is it that they haven’t met the right man, who can appreciate all they have to offer? Is it that men prefer lesser women, whom they can control and mistreat? Or all of the above?

No one can determine the value to the marketplace but the market itself. What is a the value of a book in a time of war? If you are single and believe to be a good women then rest assured there are many others like you, asking the same question – why am I still single.

The answer is easy. Good women are single because they are good to everyone but themselves.

In dating, everyone must come to their own ‘let’s get real’ moment. Being in a relationship isn’t a stroke of luck. It’s a process that starts with making a decision and then following through with the necessary steps to support that decision. That means, once you decide that you want a relationship, there is no going back, or “cheating” the rules. You must follow the process and commit to it.

Good women are single because they aren’t good to themselves. They get the same treatment from others that they inherently give to themselves, then wonder why they are so mistreated.

A Good Woman Can Never Do Enough

Good women feel guilty doing just enough.

While many people think this is a sign of being a perfectionist, perfectionism is a sign of deep insecurity. A good woman feels that what they offer is never enough and keeps giving more and more and more. To the point of exhaustion. They overspend, and over exert themselves to seem like less of a burden and more of a contributor. They do more than they have to because they feel that it shows how “good” they are.

A Good Woman Is Too Available

Good women are always available to their men, even when they shouldn’t be.

They assume the man’s attention is a sign that he wants to be with her when it’s actually a sign that he wants her attention. A man wants a good woman around so that he can feel better about himself. The good woman likes him flaws and all and to her he is enough. When in reality he is barely putting in any effort.

Going from good to great.

A good woman is someone who knows how to treat others well but doesn’t reserve any of that special treatment for herself. For the sake of pride or identity, she overextends herself to show her value but internally doesn’t feel valuable.

Does this sound like you? If not, this might be the time to have that get real moment. If you absolutely knew that the man that you wanted and deserved was out there for you, would you even waste your time focused on anyone else?

A Great Woman Deserves A Good Man

A great woman finds a good man by taking every man she meets at face value.

She doesn’t try to explain away his flaws, or ignore the red flags. A great woman isn’t into DIY and won’t take on a man who is a project, with the potential of one day being better than he is. A great woman recognizes a good man’s potential for greatness, and is willing to help him level up.

A Great Woman Sets Boundaries

A great woman doesn’t expect any behavior from men that she hasn’t established from the beginning.

She asks for what she wants, and is only looking for the right man who is willing to give it to her. She doesn’t care what he wants if it violates her own desires and boundaries. A great woman knows that this isn’t a personal slight, but that her boundaries are non-negotiable. She knows that any man who doesn’t recognize her value isn’t worth compromising for, and is willing to lose the wrong man in a heartbeat.

A Great Woman Praises Herself

A great woman doesn’t need any man to tell her how great she is. She tells herself.

In her mind, there is no doubt that she is a catch because she is constantly reminding herself with self-praise. She doesn’t use evidence of her past to define her worth, only her daily decisions. She knows and believes that she is worthy, and praises herself constantly.

Being a great woman means being the writer, director, editor, and star of your own movie called life. There is no one who will ever challenge your value, or worth because you set the stage for what happens in your life by choosing how you will respond to it. A great woman finds a man by always looking for the best man for her. Not the man who wants her the most, or the man who looks the best on her arm.

A great woman never stops, or settles, with the wrong man. If you find yourself feeling like you have to remind yourself and other’s that you’re a good woman then you are. Now it’s time to level up to being a great one.

%d bloggers like this: