If Women Did This, It Would Change Their Dating Lives Forever
I heard someone say that in a time of war, what value does a book have?
We hear terms like worth, and value, often and almost interchangeably when it comes to dating. Wanting to be valued, and feel valued, are almost a part of the human condition.
We need to know that we are wanted, but why?
Books are incredibly valuable but in a time of war, they might not be the most comforting item to a soldier. But it doesn’t change the value, just the appeal.
The word that should never leave your mind is appeal.
You have value. You are worthy, and for the right person, you are perfect.
You won’t appeal to everyone, and that is the truth. Not everyone will appeal to you. They might not fit your needs, at the moment, but it doesn’t change their worth or value.
Even your favorite food loses its appeal when you’re sick, or stuffed. Not the most appetizing piece of cake, or roast chicken would appeal to someone just recovering from food poisoning.
The idea being, we get so caught up in everything being a perfect fit, that we lose sight of the most critical element of dating; timing.
If something or someone doesn’t show up at the right time, it loses its appeal. Not it’s value.
When you are dating a man, and he shows that he isn’t interested in dating you, move on – immediately. This rejection, as hard as it seems is not a case of lost value – just lost appeal – and that’s okay.
He’s Not Attentive
He doesn’t call you, or check in on you, to see if you’re alive.
If a man goes a day, a week, or longer without the consideration that something really tragic could have happened to you, move on. This doesn’t mean that you hate him. This doesn’t mean that you curse the day that he was born, it just means that you stop putting your energy into him.
Don’t look at his pictures, or review his texts.
Don’t follow his social media, or ask your girlfriends about him.
Don’t fantasize about what could’ve been with him, if he would only. And don’t beat yourself up about his desire for you. It’s ok, if what you have to offer doesn’t appeal to him.
He Doesn’t Make Time for You.
It’s possible that you’re in constant contact. You might text every moment of the day, or even speak on the phone but if you aren’t spending quality time together, then move on. It’s really easy to get into our feelings, and want to avoid any rejection that the truth may cause. This person is making it obvious that you are not a priority, and that reality interrupts the narrative that the two of you “have something”. But the reality is that you don’t have what you want.
Spending time with you doesn’t appeal to him, as much as your attention does. If you have requested quality time, but keep getting denied. Move on. Staying too long compromises your value to yourself. Have you ever had passed appetizers at a party? Maybe the first, or second time, you decline until they bring around something that really captures your eye (and taste buds). Is dating like a buffet? Absolutely.
There are choices everywhere but the only way to actually enjoy the food, is to put it on your plate. If a guy is telling you how great you are, and how good you look, but won’t make the effort to enjoy your company. Move on.
He Wants Something Else
He tells you what he wants and it’s not what you want
Every man is entitled to his opinion. When a man tells you what he is looking for, but it doesn’t match what you want. Move on. Could he come around, absolutely. Could he just not know what he wants, of course. But you do. So move on.
As the old saying goes, maybe it’s easier said than done. There are so many ‘what ifs’. When you shut a door, you risk it never being reopened. True, but what do you believe in? Your job is not to convince anyone that you are worthy of their time and affection. Maybe you are a novel in a time of war. You don’t hold the same appeal as a rifle, or whiskey. But you don’t need to bid for your value.
Moving on looks like not speaking about him, as if he’s made the most tragic mistake of his life. He made a choice.
Moving on looks like not feeling hopeless or discouraged about what happens next.
The right person is coming. Even faster, now that you got that loser out of the way.
Moving on looks like freeing up space in your mind, because you are not thinking (or worrying) about him, or what he’s doing.
Moving on looks like not giving a f*ck that it didn’t work out.
Just tell yourself, “Isn’t that interesting. I guess he wasn’t the one”.
Let Go Of The Idea of Him
Women hold on too long to an idea of a man, who he could’ve been but not who he was.
It wasn’t the man, it wasn’t the relationship, that excited you, it was just the idea that this could be something. It was the fantasy of what might have been. And that’s understandable. Men seem rare or scarce but the reality is men are everywhere when you are open to the idea of abundance.
Moving on from someone that is close to what you want can feel difficult but good is the enemy of great and the longer you linger the more time you waste.
The faster you can move on from a man who proves that he doesn’t want to be with you, the tighter you will hold onto your true value. A woman who knows her worth won’t wait around for a man who doesn’t.