Does your dating checklist read something like this: tall, good looking, slim, amazing body (read as sexy and curvaceous if you are a man and well built and terrific triceps and abs if you are a woman), great eyes, terrific smile, intelligent, great sense of humor, loves to read, enjoys longs walks in the park, kind, compassionate, athletic, great cook!
The list of what you want in your perfect date may seem endless, and even if it were not, it is probably unrealistic. Everyone wants someone above average-someone who is different from all the rest. Yet, most of us are fairly average and ordinary ourselves. Often people have a dating checklist that seems impossible to fulfill and if they cannot check off everything on that list, they usually lose interest in the person.
In fact, it is common to be on a date and instead of concentrating on the person before you, you are actually thinking about the dating checklist in your mind. If you truly want to find a great partner, you have to tear up and toss away that dating checklist.
Most couples admit that their partner may not be exactly what they were looking for, but they are glad they looked beyond the checklist and had an opportunity to love the wonderful person in their life. The dating checklist that men and women usually have in their minds may actually contain many parameters that really do not matter in the end. That is not to say that the physical attraction or virtues you are looking for in person are not important, but that there may actually be something more out there.
While your date may meet some of the criteria on your list and may not meet some, there will be other things you did not count as important. In fact, sometimes, your date may actually be perfect for you and you may still not go out on another date based on some silly point on your checklist.
Step by Step
You don’t like what he ordered for dinner? What she is wearing for the date? Forget it and concentrate on the person. Forgetting about your dating checklist gives you a fresh chance to date without bias or preconceived notions. You take it step by step as the date reveals you to each other and you take it from there. Without the dating checklist, you will find that you are not rejecting as many people outright as you would have earlier. Moreover, even if at the end of the date you are sure you do not want to take things further, at least you know you gave it a fighting chance.
It is quite possible that, without intending to, you start evaluating your date according to the dating list you thought you threw away. Sometimes, a conscious decision is required to concentrate on the person in front of you rather than a person that you would like to create.
Discovering a New List
Every person has something to offer-it is just a matter of whether it is what you are looking for. Enjoying your date and getting to know this new person before you may actually help you decide on what things are truly important to you. Common interests, hobbies, and career expectations may be a good place to get started, but it is the deeper issues of trust, respect, and faith that are more important and will come later in the relationship.
Whatever it is, give someone a chance to reveal his or her true self to you before you bring out the checklist.