Celebrity couples often serve as a cautionary tale for the rest of us, on how to navigate love and relationships. Played out in the public eye, there’s a lot that we can learn from the young singer and actor ex-husband. At the announcement of their split there were rumors of partying, infidelity, and every accusation that you could expect from the Hollywood elite.
But over their decade long relationship there are valuable lessons that every person dating, or in a relationship, can takeaway.
YOU GROW EITHER APART OR TOGETHER
As the age of marriage continues to increase, most single adults balk at the idea of “young love”. Having met at age 17, and 20 Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, respectively, were statistically in the minority, when they became engaged a few years later.
No matter the age love finds you everyone is on a growth journey until the day that they die. It is the inability to grow in the same direction that typically tear couples apart. Like many adults you probably have a vision of your life that you’re working towards. The person that you need to become in order to achieve those goals might not be the same person that you started out as in the beginning of your relationship. The willingness to honor your growth is what makes love last.
It is a challenge for many to stay the same in order to maintain the love that they found, exactly how they found it, but nothing works that way. As we experience this world, we grow. It’s this maturity that allows us to live a life that we find fulfilling.
Stunting your growth so that your partner is happy will leave you feeling incomplete, and it is impossible to maintain over the long term. Impeding your partner’s growth will breed resentment and create unwanted tension in your relationship. The more that you struggle against the growth that is natural and necessary in your life the harder it will me to maintain a happy relationship.
When you find that you’re growing faster than is comfortable for the relationship, be honest about what you want. Give yourself space to mature. And don’t resist the natural expansion of who you are.
CHANGE IS INEVITABLE
Many couples try to hold on to the original feelings they had when they first met their partner. It’s impossible. The body does a great job of creating the necessary chemicals for bonding, lust, and love. These hormones help foster procreation and ensure the health of the species. They are also the same chemicals that create addictions, and unhealthy habits such as overeating and gambling. Feeling good is the language of the body, but it’s impossible to go backwards to how you felt when you first met.
It might not feel as good as it did in the beginning, but change can’t be helped. Instead of being afraid that the love is gone, or fading, embrace the change. Use it as an opportunity to renew the love that you had in the beginning, and use the evolution to choose your partner again, and again.
TIME DOESN’T HEAL ALL WOUNDS
Time doesn’t heal all wounds, especially when you’re living in the past pain. The only way to overcome negative feelings in a relationship whether they stem from a betrayal or an unmet need is to forget about the past and focus on the future.
Time can’t heal a wound kept fresh by memory. If you want to overcome the pain that’s lingering in your relationship, you have to focus on the future and not the past.
Anytime you live in the past, you relive the exact emotion that upset you and you keep the pain alive.
No matter how much time passes your body has no idea. Your body is still replaying the negative feelings of the original hurt. It’s still relieving the pain the it’s used to. In order to truly heal a wound you have to forget about time, past and present, and focus solely on the future.
Celebrities face the same challenges that we do when it comes to finding love. Lucky for us we don’t have to live out our lives in the public eye. At least we can learn to fair better when we learn from their mistakes.