Photo credit: MEGA TheMegaAgency.com [Photo via Mega Agency]

Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes: Why Serial Monogamy Makes Sense

What is the purpose of dating? Ask anyone single, or married, and you will get a different answer every time. Modern dating has transformed into a practice that’s unrecognizable from its original form. As single adults venture their quest to find love, dating seems like an inevitable part of the equation, but is it?

Many people will say that the point of dating is to find a partner, or spouse, but as a screening process, dating is incredible inefficient. The only way to know if a relationship can and will work is to be in one.

In the past, serial monogamy was seen as a cry for help from desperate singles who couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. Today, it makes more sense than ever.

Celebrity couple Camila Cabello, and Shawn Mendes are the perfect example of how serial monogamy is the right way to look for love. The couple united shortly after a breakup and while it stunned many fans, it actually makes more sense than they realize. Prior to her relationship with Shawn Mendes, Cabello dated Matthew Hussey, and in an interview described the power of falling in love.

For centuries the notion of love being a finite action crippled many people from finding it. Love is biochemical and has nothing to do with any one person. You can love multiple, people, places, and things concurrently. The idea that you can only love one person at a time, and that if you love more than one it isn’t real love, isn’t true.

When you fall in love your body is looking for a specific chemical cocktail that is released when you feel love, lust, and attachment. This chemical release happens any time there is a stimulant or trigger. Your body can react the same way watching a steamy love scene, as it would being face to face with your partner. This is why we cry in movies. Our body doesn’t realize that we aren’t in the same room, or even the lives, of the people that we are watching.

Serial monogamy is the equivalent of polyamory except you love one person at a time but love many times overall. Poly meaning more than one, which means you’re free to love more than one person in a lifetime, and not due to necessity. You are free to love more than one person in a lifetime because you will love more people than you can build a life with.

It might seem unrealistic to continuously enter, and end relationships but it’s better to do so intentionally than to hold on too long to the wrong person. And just because a relationship isn’t forever doesn’t mean it didn’t have value. If you really want to find love, you have to first be comfortable falling into it. And out of it. This is the most practical way to date.

But the way to fall into it freely is to release your fear of loss. The grief that we feel when someone we love leaves is a concept that scares us more than love ever could. Unfortunately, this is a misguided way to date, and enter into relationships. While you may not intend for the relationship to end, the possibility that it might, should not keep you from taking the leap. So the goal is to fall in love, as much as possible. Love is not a permanent state, so when you find the feeling, follow it and see where it leads.

After one relationship fails, jumping into another one might seem scary, but it makes sense. The idea is to be with the right person, and end relationships with the wrong people quickly. You may also want to love as many ‘right’ people as you can. Knowing ultimately that there is no one right person, chasing those love hormones and chemical cocktail could be fun and fulfilling.

The concept of eternal love is a fairy tale concocted by Greek mythology and sustained through the arts – such as movies, music, and prose – but love doesn’t last forever and it’s not meant to.

%d bloggers like this: