How many past relationships of yours have been ruined because you just couldn’t find a way to break
the news to your family that you were interested in same-sex relationships? But there comes a time
every single one of us has to grow up and face our parents or close family members who had ‘different’
futures planned out for us.
When talking about sensitive subjects to your closest family, it’s ridiculously easy to regress back to your 14-year-old self trying to convince your dad not to come and pick you up at the movies. LGBTQ dating is hard as it is, and when you throw conservative parents into the mix things definitely don’t get any easier.
Today, we discuss some of the ways to come out of the closet once and for all and own your lifestyle to
the fullest despite the fact your dad might be ready to disown you.
#1: Confide in Someone
If you have a sibling or two and a set of parents living in the same city as you, sneaking around all the
time, lying, coming up with false stories to cover the truth, and deceiving everyone, yourself included,
doesn’t just become tedious. It becomes so two-faced you risk losing yourself in the process. Try to pick
a family member you have the strongest bond with and confide in them. Make them swear on their life
they wouldn’t tell anyone else.
These things take time and you can’t be ready overnight to face your entire family at once staring at you from the other side of the dining table. Hand-pick that one person you trust the most and tell them what’s what. It will make your dating life easier and your partner will thank you.
#2: Spend Time with your Family
It’s hard to be in the presence of people who don’t know your true identity simply because they
wouldn’t understand it, but think of it this way: the stronger your relationship with your parents and
siblings, the higher the chance they’ll come to their senses and accept they have their own way of life
and you have yours.
If your relationship is rocky to begin with, coming out might just put a nail in that coffin, and you want to avoid that as much as possible. That’s why you need to invest your time and energy into building strong ties with your family members so when you do tell them it’s easier for them to process it because they couldn’t imagine their lives without you.
#3: Leave the Worst for Last
This may not sound like good advice at first because when you have a difficult task in front of you, the
sensible thing to do is attack it with all your might. Well, this is a different kind of battle that you could
lose in the end, so you need a different kind of strategy that leaves room for loving family relations
down the road.
When you get everyone else on board except that one person who just refuses to accept you’re gay, it’s going to be that much more difficult for them to be stubborn because they wouldn’t just be facing you. They’d be facing their entire family.
It might not be easy to get everyone else on board, and it might take time, but one by one, they’ll come to your side and make your life easier. You won’t have to hide your partner from everyone, which will make dating less stressful and more fulfilling.
#4: Speak with Confidence
Whether you opt to share your news with every single person separately or you prefer to have them all
at the table at once, you need to speak with confidence, no squirming or giggling, as if you were
delivering the most important news of your life. Have compassion for them and try to understand their
point of view, and definitely show respect. Everyone likes to be treated with respect. However, don’t let
any of this take away your confidence.
Remember, you’re not the problem. You have every right to share your story and put the ball in their court. There will be some awkward silence, and that’s fine. Let your news sink in. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and this kind of battle will make you stronger to deal with the latter when it comes to your romantic life.
#5: Don’t Expect Perfection
There is absolutely no way to do this perfectly, so don’t set such high expectations on yourself. Parents
have a number of issues to deal with when it comes to their children, and having a gay child is definitely
one of them in so many cases.
Your conversation with your parents will be full of emotions because you love them, and whatever happens, rest assured you’ll come out of it a stronger person. Many people from the LGBTQ camp would consider you a hero for even attempting to respectfully treat both your parents and your sexual orientation.
So, don’t rush into things, talk to your close friends, perhaps even a professional, and visualize the conversation in your head before you go into battle. Make sure you consult your partner, especially if they’ve come out to their family and inner circle. No matter what happens, you’ll be more skilled at facing tough situations and finding peace during turmoil.