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The Challenges of Dating When You’re an Introvert

What do you do when you yearn for connection with others yet need to return to a sense of calm and privacy. Situations that require individuals to interact with and meet new people are always challenging, especially for introverts. While introverts don’t necessarily exhibit debilitating anxiety or shyness, it’s an effort for them to proactively seek out circumstances that involve socializing.

Introverts are often characterized by traits that not only make it difficult to venture very far beyond their comfort zone, but also make it hard for others to crack their inner circle. Being around large groups of people isn’t what energizes an introvert.

Typically, introverts nurture a few very close relationships rather than worrying about accumulating friends. Their restrained demeanor is often mistaken for being withdrawn or standoffish, when in fact, introverts are merely focused on observation or limiting idle conversation.

The very nature of introverts drives them to prefer solitude. If they want to make a connection, introverts need to find creative ways to overcome their innate sensibilities. Fortunately, for introverts, they are generally very insightful when it comes to knowing what makes them tick. As their name suggests, they devote much of their time to introspection and discovering what interests them, and their insistence upon periodic self-imposed seclusion allows them the opportunity to pursue their favorite pastimes.

Knowing what you want is half the battle when it comes to dating.

Online dating sites seem tailor-made for introverts. Rather than forcing themselves into awkward situations and trying to engage in meaningless small talk with strangers, introverts can place themselves in positions of relative control. The wide variety of websites and apps offer users a myriad of options. Whether applicants are focused on cost or specific preferences, introverts can direct their search accordingly.

They can meet black women, Hispanic men, or Asian partners, and even drill down further to stipulate age range or religious affiliation. Many sites cater to specific activities to further narrow down compatibility factors.

With online dating, introverts can choose to get the initial formalities out of the way through text or email. Once they get past the introductory period and there appears to be a connection, then there’s already a foundation on which they can base the first date.

That head start helps to eliminate the hurdle that almost everyone experiences when starting a new relationship.
If introverts aren’t ready for online dating just yet, then the key is to stay true to themselves throughout the process. Playing against type isn’t recommended.

Trying to fake a bubbly and outgoing personality may work for a time, but it will soon prove exhausting. Potential partners may become enamored of the social butterfly they meet, not be able to reconcile their feelings to the low-key, mellowed out version, and then realize they have been duped.

Even though large social gatherings and venues are out, there are still ideal places for introverts to meet new people. Taking classes and joining groups that center on a shared hobby or interest will open new doors. These outlets offer a shared experience that can be built upon when someone new enters the picture.

Despite the tendency to place the blame on their introverted mannerisms, introverts do need to be mindful of the image they portray. When going out, it’s essential not to appear completely unapproachable with ear buds affixed to one’s head. Even a trip to the coffee shop could be the moment fated to meet one’s soulmate.

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