Have you ever heard the saying, “If you don’t love yourself you can’t love anyone else”?
Well, it’s totally true. Think of love as a muscle. The best way to strengthen it is by putting it to work and giving it a little exercise. When you practice self-love, on a regular basis, you guarantee your love muscle will be healthy and strong.
In dating, the ability to give and receive love is what bonds couples together. In order to find the love that you’re looking for, you must have a healthy association with that it looks like, and feels like. The best way to maintain love in your life, is to give it to yourself in large doses.
Try these 5 easy actions to help you increase the love you feel towards yourself and others and attract into your life the right person for you.
THE REWARD SYSTEM
When you do something well, celebrate. Our minds are faced with two choices everyday: avoid pain or seek pleasure. By rewarding slight accomplishments you program your mind to enjoy the activities that are good for you. We tend to diminish our accomplishments because we think by pushing ourselves harder we’ll achieve more. The truth is, by giving yourself a treat such as a positive affirmation, buying an inexpensive item or allowing yourself to celebrate for doing the little things, you’re showing yourself love and appreciation.
Attitude of Gratitude
For the last few weeks I’ve been taking gratitude walks. On these short walks, around my neighborhood, I reflect on and appreciate all of the good in my life. Any activity that you associate with being grateful will put love into action in your life. If you don’t enjoy walking then make it a gratitude dance or gratitude gardening. Choose a daily activity that you do for the sole purpose of expressing appreciation for who you are and what you have.
Try the TWENTY THANK YOU’s approach.
Women are notorious for saying sorry but how many times do we say thank you? Do you have a friend who just can’t seem to take a compliment? Are you that person? Do you find a response or explanation when someone offers you praise or recognition? Every time we receive a compliment our first response should always be, “Thank you.”
When we open our eyes in the morning our first words of the day should be, “Thank you.” Make it a habit of saying thank you at least twenty times a day. Often times we mean to say it but we never seem to get the words out. Create a habit of thanking everyone and you’ll find yourself not only saying it but meaning it.
Give Something Away Everyday
Love is like an idea, the more people you give it to the faster it spreads. If you want to experience the joys of self-love then give something away everyday. You can start with money, by tipping your barista, or with personal items such as giving your co-worker your favorite pen. You can give a piece of advice or give 5 minutes of your time to anyone who could use a listening ear or helping hand.
If what you give has value to you then by giving it you’re sharing the love you have for it with others. This kind act replaces any feelings of loss with good vibes.
Compliment Yourself and Others
When it comes to compliments a good rule of thumb is: when you think it say it. So often we have kind words to offer others, and ourselves, but we hold back. We believe by complimenting ourselves we come across as vain and by complimenting others we come across as insincere. Neither viewpoint is true. Compliments are a way to recognize the good that someone has done, and you do great things all the time, but you might not realize it.
You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re a great friend. You’re a wonderful listener. Replace any negative self-talk with positive and affirming compliments. Be creative with your compliments and always look for new ways to verbally express appreciation for yourself and others.