There are numerous ways to tell if you’re good at dating or not, and even more reasons why it matters.
If you want to have a happy experience in dating, before you meet the person that you plan to spend the rest of your life with, its important to learn how dating works.
First, let’s think about what happens when you’re a good dater? If you’re “good” at dating it means that above all else, you’re having a good time. Dating isn’t stressful for you, and you often get what you want. If you’re a good dater, you often find yourself engaging with potential dates with ease, and little agitation. Dating feels comfortable in numerous aspects. You enjoy the company, and quality of your dates, you end a date feeling better than when it started, and you’re excited about dating.
So what happens when you’re a “bad” dater. The first thing we experience is frustration. When you’re a bad dater, people are less inclined to spend time with you, and you might find yourself having fun while your date is losing interest. A bad dater lacks self-awareness and finds it difficult to enjoy dating. What happens if we are bad daters, is we are stressed and uneasy. Bad daters often feel on edge and are constantly questioning themselves, their actions and the actions of others.
The truth is, when you’re a great dater the world shows you possibilities that you never knew before. It makes meeting people enjoyable and exciting. It makes you feel whole as a person because you’re giving of yourself, and you’re getting a positive response in the meantime. When you’re a bad dater, you blame yourself for the outcomes and are afraid to take chances that could lead to success.
So how can you make the leap from being a good dater, from a bad one? Keeping in mind that your ability to date is not a reflection of your value in the marketplace. Your ability to date, is simply a result of your knowledge about dating in general. If you want to become a better dater, even a good dater here are a few tips for making the transition.
Good daters have guidelines, and bad daters have rules.
Good daters know where their boundaries are, and are willing to educate their date on what is or isn’t acceptable. Good daters allow a learning curve when it comes to dating, and they make decisions with guidelines in mind.
Bad daters have rules on what is, or isn’t acceptable and are quick to discount potential dates when rules are broken. Bad daters are also less flexible when it comes to what they will allow from a date which leaves them less likely to get to know their date, or create a bond.
Good daters allow, and bad daters guard.
It’s hard to let your guard down when dating, especially when you have very little information about your date. Good daters allow their date to be themselves, they allow for plans to change, and they allow good things to happen without feeling like they need to be in control.
Bad daters guard not only their hearts, and ego, but they guard their space, and are generally guarded in their attitudes. Again, the key is to be flexible and be willing to go with the flow.
Good daters stay calm, and bad daters panic.
Our emotions guide much of our behavior when it comes to dating, so when things don’t go our way, it’s easy to lose our cool. A good dater has the ability to stay calm and focus on the positive, as well as managing their emotions so they don’t feel too invested before it makes sense to invest.
Bad daters tend to panic and lose their cool when things don’t workout as intended. Panicking means jumping to the wrong conclusions before knowing the facts, or having all of the information. A bad date is easily upset by any disruptions in dating, and feels a loss of control when things go wrong.
Good daters know their value, bad daters don’t.
All of us have an inherent value of what we offer to another person. We have something to contribute that is special and unique. While it isn’t always easy to maintain self-esteem when single, a good dater leads with their strengths. They know that they are worthy of love and act with that value in mind.
Bad daters tend to underestimate their value, and settle for less than they want or deserve. Bad daters also tend to feel like they’re constantly dating our of their league, or that they have to prove themselves to the people that they date. In short, bad daters don’t feel good enough so they undervalue themselves.
Even if you’re a bad dater, there are ways to improve. Its not enough to know, you also have to know how. You can learn to improve your dating skills by working with a coach, or taking a course online. You can also learn in a community that supports singles. The FLIRT Lounge is a free private Facebook group that helps single men and women find love in record time.