“My apologies, but you’ve not passed our job interview.”; “I’m sorry, seems like I have another crush”; “Get the hell out, you don’t belong here”.
Perhaps every person used to hear one of these in his or her address on a certain life stage. Since the very birth each of us is doomed to be rejected one sunny day.
Someone just fights back trying to prove his or her worth, someone tries hard to get over it and erase this moment from the memory and someone feels broken down without any idea of how to overcome the anxiety. A simple yet complicated question arises – how to return to your old regular life after being rejected? In this article you’ll learn how to solve this problem, if you’ve ever faced the bitterness of rejection.
Ask yourself: What should I do first?
First of all, a phrase you should never ever tell yourself: “If somebody criticizes and pushes me away, that proves once again that I’m not worthy.” It is all about this interpretation of what really happened you’ve made up in your head. The point is that rejection is some kind of a medicine – it teaches you how to end up relationships and opportunities that simply aren’t going to work, so you can take your time and search for the right ones that truly will. It doesn’t mean you are not good enough, it just means someone else failed to notice your stronger sides.
The truth is you don’t even have to overweight your mind with questions like: “What have I done wrong?”; “Why did he/she do this to me?”; “Could have I handled this?”. Embrace what has already happened and move on. All you need is to focus on what you can do now.
Of course, the best piece of advice probably every psychologist can give you in this situation is to forget that moment as soon as possible, just let it go and never return to it again. You can try out a new hobby, visit an old friend or take a walk somewhere in a local park. Any kind of positive emotions to edge out the bad ones. And as much as you can get!
Ask yourself: How can I avoid such unpleasant situations in the future?
You may laugh, but you can’t avoid them. However, what you can do for sure is to be mentally prepared for these situations.
Frankly, if you often feel like somebody is not treating you with all due respect, check your self-esteem. Most likely you’ve unconsciously undervalued yourself. Because it’s only YOU who tells others what you’re really worth by showing them what you’re ready to sacrifice for your time and attention.
If you don’t respect yourself than why do you expect others to? It goes without saying that you can extract the most unique experience out of the worst situation. So ask yourself: “What did I gain from this?” so you can learn from rejection. Turn your pain and anger into an opportunity for self-growth. With each rejection, you grow stronger and become a better person.
Summing it all up, I want to repeat the point that nothing passes by without supplying with an exclusive experience.
Venture capitalists turn down tons of start-ups before they choose the ones worth to be invested in, which means people learn to move on from hearing the word ‘no’. Literally, you must learn to not take ‘no’ for a final answer, but for an opportunity to progress and move forward.