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When it comes to dating and flirting, there are certain do’s and don’ts that will go a long way towards determining the progress of your relationship. By following these golden rules you will guarantee that the object of your desire texts you after your first date, her casual tone disguising how eager she is to see you again.
You certainly don’t want to be in the position of checking your phone every five minutes for the other type of text, the one that will only fill you with despondency: the phantom text that is never going to arrive.
A first date can be a fragile situation to be treated carefully and nurtured like a seedling, certainly never taken for granted. Like anything else in life, it’s the effort that you put in at this initial stage that will sow the seeds for a fruitful harvest. But that’s enough of the gardening metaphors.
First impressions are all-important, and a lot of depends on the circumstances that have led you to this point. Perhaps you got in touch via mature chat. In that case you have a head start as you will already have spent some time getting acquainted with each other. If you know what type of person you are finally about to hook up with in the real world, you might have a handle on her preferences.
If your date happens to love heavy metal music, piercings and tattoos, you don’t want to show up straight from the office in a tailored suit that will make you come across as some kind of parole officer. Conversely, if the woman you’ve been flirting with within the confines of your browser has explained that she is a professional who has been running her own business for the past 10 years, you might want to opt for a smarter outfit than sneakers and a baseball cap.
Of course, your dress sense is merely one aspect of projecting an image. In fact, most people can see beyond the superficiality of a layer of clothing.
Another aspect of dating is that it is wrong to make assumptions. Who’s to say that the girl who adores Goth chic might not have a thing for conservative-looking guys? One of the well worn but often proven clichés of matching is that opposites do attract.
Where you actually arrange to meet is another important consideration. Ideally, the best place for an initial get-together is somewhere that isn’t going to have too many distractions. Going to the movies is ok for maybe a second or third date, but there’s something slightly awkward about sitting in silence in the dark with someone you are still in the process of breaking the ice with. Saturday night bars are another no-no.
You know the type of joint?
They’re great for a night out with a bunch of your pals. But all that loud music thumping over the PA and the general atmosphere of brash partying isn’t conducive to intimate conversation.
Women love a guy who seems spontaneous and has a lot of interesting things to say. So it would be far better if you suggested a quiet wine bar or restaurant, ensuring it’s once you either know well or have read good reviews about. In a relaxed setting the conversation can really flow.
A venue with private cubicles where you can really get to know each other would be perfect. A pleasant outlook also goes a long way towards putting you both in the right frame of mind. Views across a sleepy lake or a seafront are more likely to stimulate minds than staring over a parking lot.
Flirting might seem like something that should come naturally, but it does require a level of finesse. You must never begin your evening with a barrage of suggestive comments, as your guest might well be a creeped out by such a full-on approach. Subtle innuendos should only ease into the chat casually. As this verbal tennis evolves, as soon as you start to receive vigorous returns then by all means notch it up.
Once you get the sense that the ice has been broken and you’re beginning to get on really well, then you can get more adventurous. You can even become more tactile, although it’s important to keep physical contact to a minimum until you get the sense that your mood is being reciprocated.
These hints are, in many ways, just common sense. But it does help to give the do’s and don’ts of dating some consideration. Meeting someone for the first time can seem like a minefield, where the first impression you make might end up being your last.
But the important thing is to relax, pay full attention to your partner, then use basic charm and intelligence to make the connection. The rest will be history.