I’m officially giving you permission to want a relationship.
Not just any romantic relationship but a happy, healthy, uplifting and empowering relationship with someone you really like.
Too often, we adopt the attitude of, ‘Love, who needs it?’ Well, you for one. And me too.
As humans, we are wired to love. In fact, when we aren’t expressing love, appreciation and gratitude we can fall into deep depression and feel incredibly unfulfilled.
Sometimes the desire is there, but as many singles navigate the dating world, the question that always arises is: How?
How do you meet the right person?
How do you start a romantic relationship?
How do you get someone to show you attention and interest?
How do you get someone to commit?
As you know, dating varies from person to person but the one answer that relates to everyone is: take control of the experience.
Regardless of the outcome, it’s how you feel along the way that matters the most in dating. You have to tell yourself that dating is easy. You have to believe that love can happen to you. You have to know that the right person is out there. Several of them.
Or as you’re probably thinking, lie to myself?
Dating can be hard, but how you date is actually easy. When you take an active role in the process and you don’t wait for anyone’s permission, dating can actually become a fun and rewarding experience.
How do you meet the right person? You want it, you ask for it, and you believe it.
You don’t make excuses or act like love is a luxury. It’s your right. You commit to your own success.
How do you start a romantic relationship, you dive in. Don’t just wait to be chosen. Start asking the right questions. Start being more transparent.
How do you get someone to show interest? Show interest in them. Become a curious person, and ask questions. It’s ok, to want to know about someone else before you’re sure of their interest in you.
How do you get someone to commit? Find a person capable of committing. Too often we approach a person unwilling to commit and ask them for commitment.
It’s like asking a dog to quack or a duck to bark. Don’t pursue something from anyone who is incapable of giving it to you.
If you’re not sure whether they can give you what you need then ask. Don’t wait until you really want it to ask for it, ask questions from the very beginning.
Now this might seem like an aggressive place to start if you haven’t dated in awhile or if you’ve been dating so long unsuccessfully that the thought of making an effort is completely daunting. Because our general attitude is that love will just happen to us.
If it doesn’t happen then there is something wrong with us, or we’re just unlucky. The thought that we should really do anything more than what we’re doing seems unfathomable.
Even more farfetched is there being a right way to do this dating thing.
At the end of the day, wanting a relationship is healthy and normal. The struggles we face in dating aren’t against anyone but ourselves.
We’re grappling with our own self worth. We’re struggling to find our own value.
From where you are now, to where you want to be can be as simple as doing a little work. Work on feeling good. Work on meeting more people. Work on staying positive. Work on taking action. Work on a strategy.
Think about this… anything in this life worth having is worth working for. If you’re willing to do the work, then the reward of a relationship will come.