You had a great date, you felt pretty good chemistry but you never heard from them again.
You’re probably wondering what happened? With phone in hand I bet you’re tempted to follow up with a casual text or a playful message. Maybe you have followed up but got crickets. It’s possible that you figured the date wouldn’t lead anywhere but you’re still confused because you had such a great time together.
Dating is a constant process of action and reaction. There are several instances where what you do will effect the results that you get. Typically if you have a great date then you’ll get asked on a second date. Keep in mind that the purpose of the first date is to get a second date.
Millions of single men and women have the misconception that when they meet “the one” they’ll know it. This often leads singles to ignore key indicators that a date isn’t going well and they falsely believe their date when they say, “I’d like to see you again.”
Once we determine that we really like someone we start future planning and lose sight of our objective at hand: successfully end date number one.
Let’s say that you did have a great date but you still never heard from them again, what’s up with that?
There a two common reasons why what you thought was a great first date failed to produce a second. Even worse, you never hear from your date again. This person that seemed full of potential has disappeared and here is why.
THEY WEREN’T AVAILABLE
People in relationships date other people when their relationships are on the rocks. Sometimes people in relationships date other people when they are traveling for work, or their partner is out of town. Sometimes people in relationships cheat. If you meet a great catch and you seem to have chemistry, but they never contact you again for a second date, it’s possible that they weren’t actually single.
Its not uncommon to get caught up with someone who is already in a relationship. You get a random message on Facebook. You think you’re reconnecting with a former love. You feel a great connection but just as you’re about to make offline plans, they disappear. People going through relationship troubles like to test the waters.
They flirt with others, they spark a connection and then they cower back into the relationship with the renewed sense that “they still got it.” They use you as a confidence boost that they could leave their current situation if they wanted to.
Cruel, yes but very common.
When you meet a potential date, don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. Even if you see no signs that the person you’re on a date with has a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse you should still ask. Vet their availability by asking about their last relationship and why they’re still single. Ask openly why their last relationship ended or how long ago it was.
Look for the red flags that they could be hiding something. If your date flakes on a second date, or disappears altogether, it has nothing to do with you. It’s likely they were hiding vital information about how “single” they were and ultimately you dodged a bullet.
THEY JUST WEREN’T INTO YOU
If you’re a good person, rejecting you won’t be easy. When we don’t hear from someone we’ve been on a great date with its probably because they weren’t that into us. Rejecting someone is almost as hard as being rejected. You’re not a bad person and your date knows this. You just aren’t the right person for them. Since the rapport was new ghosting felt like the easiest way to let you down.
Facing rejection in dating is inevitable.
Dating takes effort and it has to be worth it to both parties involved. When your date doesn’t think a second date with you is worth it, it’s because they don’t see the compatibility. Maybe you were nervous and didn’t convey your best self. It’s possible that they just didn’t “get” you.
If you want to see more success in your love life then you must adopt the behavior that will lead to success. Don’t be discouraged that things didn’t work out this time.
Just rework your strategy and be prepared for when you meet someone else. Take note of what you could have done differently and don’t be so attached to your behavior that you mistake bad habits for your personality.
The best response is to improve your strategy for building a connection. When we meet awesome people we sometimes get nervous and throw everything we know about dating out of the window. Even if you seemed to have a great time it’s always possible that you had a great time but your date didn’t. It’s also possible that you had a great time but your date noticed red flags that they didn’t lead on to.
If you want to make sure that you get the last say about seeing the other person again, set the intention to have a great time together. A first date is just the start. I hope this was helpful.