It is easy to feel lost and confused in the world of dating. It is even more likely that this is the case when you do not have a cultural history that includes dating to find someone for a long-term relationship, which is often the case for children of immigrants from South Asia.
Often times this transition is even more difficult because parents hold tightly to their traditional culture while the children of immigrant parents spend their entire lives trying to adapt and fit into the society they have grown up in.
Those who have adapted to a new way of life in their current homeland find it difficult to stick to traditional methods such as arranged marriage which is why they turn to dating in the first place to meet and marry their mates.
Coming from this background, it is easy to get stuck in a place where instead of getting to know another individual, dating becomes about checking off a pre-determined list of acceptable traits and values while inadvertently dismissing the emotional connection that many people crave.
Instead of finding common activities and interests, individuals from such backgrounds can get swept up in giving more credence to professional accomplishments and externally-driven criteria instead of focusing on the personal values held by each person that often create a stable foundation from which to build a lifelong connection.
People who do not have experience dating and who don’t start dating until their late 20’s and 30’s face a lot of pressure to find someone quickly. When the process is short-circuited, many people find themselves unhappy or unable to maintain healthy relationships.
However, conventional dating advice doesn’t always help because it doesn’t take into account the unique cultural aspects that have affected individuals’ abilities to relate to the other gender in the same way as someone who has grown up in a more Westernized culture.
This is why it can be helpful to learn from those who have grown up in a similar background and have figured out how to navigate their cultural background and leverage it as they date and find love.
Some women find themselves torn between trying to please their parents and relatives while trying to find someone quickly so they can settle down and have a family; but deep down inside, they want romance and a connection based on mutual interests and values.
When they have not spent time defining their values which may be different from the values they grew up with, they find themselves realizing that what they thought they wanted may not necessarily suit them as adults.
There are many resources from books to dating and life coaches that can help you define what you want in a relationship, which will help set the stage to make dating an enjoyable and effective process to find the love of your life.
About the Author
To find tips and insights specific to Indian-American and South Asian American women, check out www.abcddatingsecrets.com and the newly-released e-book Find the Love of Your Life (for South Asian American women) by Ami Santosh, available on Amazon, Apple iBooks, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Smashwords, and other popular e-book stores.