My parents are still married and have been for forty years.
Without their commitment to each other and their family, I’m not sure I’d be where I am today. As much as I respect their story, I know that the rules of dating have changed. You’ll never have the same marriage as your parents and that is a good thing.
To expect my dating experience would be anything like theirs has been one mistake I’ve made in my love life.
In a new Ebook, Find The Love of Your Life, released by Ami Santoosh the author tackles modern dating for South Asian American woman who has spent her formative years growing up in the U.S.
No matter your culture everyone is affected by the stigmas of tradition in marriage. What the book challenges, which everyone can relate to, is recognizing that times have changed and creating your own plan for changing with them when it comes to love.
Married by 25 with 2.5 kids, a stable career and a vacation home. To many this is the American dream and to some their parent’s marriage.
If you’re like me you realize that, in this era and at this age, the path to marriage and a family isn’t going to look like anything you’ve seen before.You won’t be married by 30 like you’re parents.
YOU WON’T MARRY YOUNG LIKE YOUR PARENTS.
In the country I was born, once you hit your thirties a man can consider a marriage to you a charitable contribution. The idea that a woman might be thirty and single, with no boyfriend is a foreign idea.
What I’ve learned is that falling in love and being married are not mutually exclusive. You can love multiple people in your lifetime and not feel pressured to marry the first one. Being over thirty and single doesn’t mean you haven’t found love, been loved or given love. It only means you didn’t make it your sole priority and that’s ok.
YOU WON’T HAVE KIDS LIKE YOUR PARENTS
The rush to get married, before the baby was born, was the original planned parenthood. In our world today numerous single men and women have children. Families are merged from the result of pre-marital sex and divorce giving us more family options than ever. You no longer need to be married to have children. Unlike your parents you have options when it comes to family planning that don’t have to include a legal union.
YOU WON’T BE SETTLED IN YOUR CAREER LIKE YOUR PARENTS
In her book, Find The Love of Your Life (For South Asian American Women), Ami Santoosh explains the pressures of pursuing a career even to the detriment of finding love. A saga most single professionals understand.
You will not stay with the same company for 30 years like your parents. The average millennial will have their first job for less than 3 years.
You will travel, you will get into debt, you will leave a job you hate, you will find a better job, you will start your own business, or you will be successful and still feel insecure in your career.
After graduate school, medical school, and possibly years of working abroad you might find the opportunity to settle down and get married. Maybe.
The traditions of marriage have served us well but there must have been flaws or they wouldn’t have changed. For better or worse, single men and women today can’t date the way their parents did and we all need to come to terms with that.
You will find love and you can be happy but what I’ve learned is marriage isn’t always the answer. Your story is your own so you should break it to your parents grand kids might not be included.
This post was sponsored by ABCD Dating Secrets.
For more information about the ebook and resources, please visit www.abcddatingsecrets.com.
Buy the book on AMAZON here…