Since I launched my new eBook, 25 Compliments That You Should Be Giving, I’ve discovered something about dating.
Attention is a precious commodity.
You might not realize it but the world is fighting for your attention. From television commercials, billboards, pop-up ads, people in the street, salesmen and women.
Everywhere you go someone is making you look in their direction in an attempt to get you to do what they want you to do. Think about this a moment… how many times today, has something grabbed your attention?
Selfies, catcalls, tweets, text messages, and status updates.
These are the ways the world around us fights for our attention. With every click, you are diving into what someone else wants you to do. Even now, you’re reading this post because I luckily managed to grab your attention.
What I realized is that once you consume someone’s attention you must answer their why or they will lose interest in you. Why are you reading this post? Because it will help you to improve your love life.
Answer, “Why am I giving you my attention?” and others will be happy to give it. Take a man walking his dog on a particular day when there are lots of women in the park.
Stopping to pet a dog might interrupt her exercise but women are happy to do it. A cute dog gets their attention.
Why would they stop to pet a dog? Because they love dogs.
We live in an age of immediacy. Too often singles wait until they are “dating” someone to disclose their best qualities.
No one wants to wait until the first date to decide if they should be dating you. That decision is made long in advance: immediately, upon meeting you. I suggest giving compliments which serve two purposes: getting attention and answering the why.
With one phrase you’ve grabbed their attention and made someone feel better about themselves.
If we think about dating as a practical decision we might assume that once we want to date someone, they should want to date us, because we are a good person. Everyone has a different why and it’s never rational or logical.
Why should they talk to you?
Why would they enjoy it?
Why should they go out with you?
Answering the “Why” when you have someone’s attention will make them do what you want them to do.
You make them feel safe, beautiful, smart, capable, and loved.
You entertain them with dinner, drinks, movies, concerts, and laughter.
You provide for them friendship, advice, and services they need.
If you want someone to text you more you have to solve- why are they texting you? To get someone to spend time with you, answer the why.
When you interrupt someone to give them a compliment you improve will their mood. If someone feels good around you, they will date you. That is the why.
This approach takes an elevation of consciousness. It takes an understanding of what people experience once they give you their attention.
When you engage in others what do they get from the interaction?
If you keep asking these questions, the why, you’ll discover the secret to getting others to do what you want them to do.
You will always get the responses that you want from the people that you meet and you’ll feel more confident about approaching more people. I hope this was helpful.