I want you to take your love life into your hands and accept total control of what happens between you and the people that you meet. This demand might seem pompous or arrogant to you. How can you control what other people do or if they want to date you or not? But you can.
You have more influence on who wants to date you and who doesn’t than you realize. It’s a combination of how you look, the things you say and the confidence you exude everyday.
You constantly attract the right people but you turn them off with your behavior and don’t recognize it.
If you’re still one of the lucky singles who meet potential dates the old-fashioned way, in person, I applaud you. It isn’t easy meeting a stranger and procuring a date in just a matter of minutes.
You have to be smart, flirtatious, slightly aggressive and not too eager all at the same time.
Sometimes it’s rare to meet a man or woman who have the qualities you’re interested in much less attracted to. That’s why understanding what compels others’ to date you is so important.
If you want to make sure that every potential date you meet is excited and interested in dating you, pay attention to the following.
Listen More. Talk Less.
He who says the least has all the power. Studies show that when others share more they feel stronger connections with those they’re sharing with. When you’re initially introduced to a potential date, you want to minimize how much you say and maximize how much they share. It’s likely that you both will begin asking typical questions, ‘Where are you from?’ or ‘What do you do’?
Once you’ve passed the formalities its your job to steer the interaction in the right direction. Your response is what determines who speaks next.
Incorporate such phrases as, ‘that’s interesting, tell me more.’ and ‘How did you get started in your field’ or ‘what do you love about your job?’
Your level of curiosity will encourage your potential date to share more about themselves with you. Letting them speak about themselves and their passions will increase their attraction to you.
Always Stay Positive
Whatever you do, avoid putting yourself or others down. Don’t gossip or use insulting jokes to break the ice, it’s just not flattering. There’s no need to place your insecurities on anyone else so if you have a negative joke or experience to share, just don’t.
Find a diplomatic way to say that you dislike something. Or not. Avoid any speech that could be construed as negative because first impressions have alot to do with energy. People won’t remember what you said, they’ll remember how you made them feel.
By staying positive you keep your energy level high and maintain good report during the conversation.
Ask For The Date
Dating isn’t too different from selling, so you want to make sure that you ask for the date. Simply say, “I’d love to spend more time with you,” or “I’d love to see you again, can I give you my number”
It might seem bold but adults are pretty intuitive. They understand that your invitation is for a date because you’re single, not desperate. If you’re flirting with someone and you don’t ask for the date, it sends the opposite message.
You seem disinterested when you really are interested. So get with the program and go after what you really want.
If someone is giving you their time and attention then they expect you to ask. Keep in mind that they probably want you to ask.
Make It Brief
When meeting potential dates, you want to get in and then get out. If someone wants to know you better, they’ll just have to go out with you.
Everyone gets excited when they meet a new potential date. All the right factors are falling into place. You’re having a great conversation with them, chemistry and all, so you don’t want more time to tell them how great you are. Big mistake.
The more time you spend with potential dates the bigger opportunity for you to f*ck things up.
Don’t do that! Say hello, flirt, be interested, and ask for the date then move along. Not only does it show self-control, it allows them to reciprocate interest by connecting with you at another point in the evening.
Positive interactions are key when it comes to getting that first date. If you can execute the correct behaviors every time you meet a potential date you’ll find yourself going on more dates and facing rejection less. I hope this was helpful.