Dating is all about desire.
In order to attract the people you want to date, they have to want you. When you think about desire don’t just equate it to sex. Desire is about wanting what you feel you don’t have. Desire isn’t just a good feeling, it’s necessary.
The easiest way to create desire in dating is to seduce your date. Don’t think of seduction as a bad word. Think of it as giving your date the feelings that they want to feel, except you’re doing it with intention.
In order for potential dates to want you, you have to be or posses qualities that they value and find attractive.
So you might want be wondering what the opposite sex really wants. Or maybe you’ve concluded that you know what they want and you aren’t it.
You can become what anyone wants but first you have to know what that is. You might find that you possess every desirable quality you need to to be highly attractive you only lack the skills to apply them.
If you don’t have what you need to be highly desired becoming what others find attractive isn’t difficult.
Step 1. Think Outside of Yourself
Do you know how other’s see you? Can you put yourself in someone else’s shoes? What impression do you give a stranger and what impression are you intending to send to a stranger?
Imagine yourself preparing to leave the house. Have you set an intention for who you want to be and how you want to be perceived? Step outside of yourself, in fact, pretend that you are not you. Pretend that you are a friend of yours looking for a date for you.
As this friend you have to sell “you” to a potential date. Think about the positives, and your personal features. How would you describe the wonderful qualities that you possess that make you a catch?
If you were trying to set yourself up on a blind date as your own “friend”, what would you tell potential dates about you? How would you describe you?
Be as clear and positive as possible. If you don’t know why other people would want to date you, trust me when I say, they don’t know either!
As a loving friend, instruct yourself on how to come across more attractive. Consider yourself your own coach. What would you improve on to become more attractive to potential dates?
We tend to give up on ourselves but looking from the outside in, you can gain a new perspective on how you’re being viewed from the outside world. Be constructively critical.
Step 2. Have More High Quality but Brief Interactions.
Now that you have a more positive spin on who you are, you can begin to connect with others in a meaningful way. Here is a very simple exercise that you can practice on anyone.
Take every opportunity you can to ask a stranger how their day is going. When they respond, and ask about your day (which most people will) just reply with a smile, “It’s fantastic so far.”
Start off by asking everyone, then narrow your conversation to very good looking people and people you are attracted to. Keep in mind that the interaction will be very brief. You won’t be exchanging numbers or trying to “pick them up”.
You’re simply practicing connection. This is important because most people go out of their way to avoid interactions. Not only do they avoid attention they deny it from the very people they’re trying to date. This is a practice in being noticed and noticing others. If you’re not being seen or acknowledged by potential dates on a regular basis then you’ll be easily overlooked at times when you’re trying to be noticed.
You can’t just shine a light on yourself when you want to be seen. Everyday is an opportunity to connect with the right people and by constantly and consistently engaging with others you increase your desirability, how cool is that.
These might not seem like a very sexy interaction but with your brief and upbeat reaction, you’ve created intrigue. You’ve set yourself apart in the mind of this person and if they were to see you again, chances are they would remember you.
Seduction has to be like a prick of a needle, quick and painless.
Step 3. Start Thinking About Sex.
Whether you have it or don’t have it, potential dates are thinking about sex. Mankind is hard-wired to think about sex because the fate of the species depends on it. We are animals with natural selection instincts. If you aren’t thinking about sex it’s because you are purposely avoiding the topic, which isn’t natural.
This could be the reason you’re not building attraction currently. You haven’t confronted the sexuality of dating.
Sexuality doesn’t imply that you have to have sex, or that you’ve had sex or that you’re a pervert. It doesn’t even imply that you want to have sex with anyone. When you confront sexuality it means that you’re comfortable with others viewing you as a sexual being. And you’re comfortable being a sexual being. You were born with the parts so that’s what you are.
You have reproductive organs making sex and sexuality a natural part of being human. If you are embarrassed or ashamed of this in anyway then you’re hiding a very natural part of yourself.
Embrace what makes you sexy and what you find sexy in others. If this makes you uncomfortable then you have to explore why. Find the maturity to confront sexuality and use your awareness to your advantage.
Step 4. Give Great Compliments.
Regardless of how you currently feel about yourself there is beauty to be found in everything.
Sometimes we’re so consumed by our own grief, misery, lack of confidence and low self-esteem that we forget how to be positive and uplifting to others. Seduction is as simple as looking someone in the eyes and offering a genuine, heartfelt compliment. That maybe you’ve rehearsed it a few times…
As long as your intention is to make the other person feel good then you’re on the right track.
When was the last time you took a moment to appreciate what someone else did? When was the last time you gave a compliment because you were truly impressed by someone else? When was the last time you forgot about being judged and shared positive feedback with someone.
If you aren’t giving compliments then you aren’t practicing seduction and its a skill that if you don’t use, you lose.
The art of successful dating is getting potential dates to want you, to desire you and to value your company more than the company of others. It can take time and practice but once you learn how to seduce a lover, you’ll never have trouble finding willing participants. I hope this was helpful.