I have no doubt in my mind that if more singles knew what they wanted from their love life they would get it. Being clear about what you want, your dating goals and your ideal for love in the future is wonderful but it’s just the start.
It’s not enough to just state what you want: I want a boyfriend/girlfriend, I want a meaningful relationship, I want to get married and have children someday.
You must first accept that what you want is a real goal, and very attainable. You must also accept that sometimes we don’t get what we want because there isn’t enough room for it. We’re too busy filling our lives with the things that we don’t want.
You might want money but have a ton of “stuff” clothes, shoes, and handbags instead.
You might want to go on more dates but you’re still dealing with your ex, who takes up way too much of your free time. Not to mention your emotional energy.
You might want to attract new experiences but you’re still living by old habits.
In order for you to start getting what you want from your love life and life in general, you have to make sure that there’s room.
A common phrase I hear singles utter is, “I’ve tried everything.” You may have tried everything but you haven’t done what works. Doing the right thing once proves it’s own weight when you get what you want as the result.
When you get the right answer in Jeopardy, you hear a little ding and money goes into your bank. When you get the answer wrong its clear, and you end up losing money. Life isn’t too different, maybe the dings are harder to hear but you certainly know when you’ve won or lost, be it money, pride, self-esteem, respect etc.
Stop making excuses.
Excuses can get extremely creative and convenient when we’re avoiding what challenges us or scares us. Saying that you don’t make enough money is a nice distraction from why you haven’t saved as much money as you should but what happens to the money that you do make?
It’s all too easy to say that you never meet the right people but what happens with the potential dates you’ve already met? Were there success stories or did the interaction fall victim to your typical damaging behavior?
The key here in making a miracle where you might have felt hopeless is honesty. Think about what you want and then think about what you have in its place.
This month, May Miracle Month, is about challenging yourself to do what you never thought you could.
First challenge? Stop accepting what you don’t really want by asking yourself if what you’re doing is getting you closer to your wants or taking the place of them.
You should know what to do depending on the answer but here’s a hint, just say no.