I try not to write for regular people. I’ve found that the world is full of dating experts who have a transformational story of once being a nerd, or the shy girl but now has learned to rock their dating life. That’s amazing. And kudos to the relationship writers, that champion everyday, for the average Joe and Jane just trying to make it through this thing we call life and the dating world.
That’s not the kind of writer and coach that I am. Chances are if you’re reading this blog, or a fan of my work, you want more from your love life than just the status quo; you want to run that sh*t.
I started this blog to give honest advice to the awesome men I had been dating on how to slightly step their games up. They were awesome and I’m sure you are too. You’re just waiting on the rest of the world to get the memo. If you want to be great at dating you have to learn how to be attractive.
The universe, I believe is built on energy and our energy attracts what we deeply believe and desire in life. When you’re attractive, it’s easy to bring into your life the right people and the right opportunities for love.
If you know that you deserve the best and most amazing love life ever, which I believe that you do, then I want you to NEVER stop and never settle on the following traits. You have to step up your game and get better in the following areas. Learn to do what the most attractive people already know how to do.
Invest In Your Appearance
The way that you look on the outside tells a story. What is your current appearance saying about how much you care for yourself. There are two attraction qualities that we look for when choosing a partner. One is similarity. Dressing in a current style or on trend with what your ideal partner is looking for will make them think you’re similar. This commonality based on your appearance is attractive because you remind them of themselves.
The second is personal care. How clean your clothes look, clear your skin is and your body type sends a message about how you take care of yourself. This translates to potential dates as the way you will take care of them. The way you look tells a lot about what you value. It’s an expression of your beliefs and your lifestyle.
As much as we try to dismiss our appearances, how we look defines most of us. On good hair days, we feel fantastic. When we fit into our skinny jeans, we feel on top of the world. Even a great workout can revive a love for your body that you may have never realized.
Make the conscious decision to be physically attractive to the person that you want to date. Wear well tailored clothing that flatters your body shape, research brands and styles that are flattering on your body. What most singles do is settle for what’s available. They aren’t interested in style so they put clothing on their body that isn’t sending the proper message about who they are. Invest time and energy in telling your story. Make sure that your appearance is a direct reflection of the person you want to be seen as.
This confidence translates to sexy, attractive and desirable in the dating world.
Embrace Your Ambition
What are you passionate about doing and who are you working hard to become. We all admire people who are driven and successful but too many of us never cultivate the deep desire necessary to follow our passions.
What ever it is that you want in life, you have to believe that you can achieve it and that includes having an awesome relationship with an amazing partner. If you’re willing to subscribe to the idea that love just happens to you and you’ll have to settle for who comes your way then you’re not living up to your potential.
Happiness takes ambition. What naturally attractive people have is drive and desire. They are willing to work harder than anyone else for what they want out of life. You should be inspired and do the same.
You have to have courage and the strength to excel beyond expectation to create an exceptional dating life. You can’t just accept what the world thinks you deserve and you can’t reside to getting just enough. Ask for more and you’ll get more.
Maintain High Personal Standards
When you vibrate at a higher energy plane, you attract those who do the same. Don’t lie, cheat, scheme, hate, insult, get angered, get jealous or allow any negative emotion that is cheap or common absorb you.
When you are able to control your language and your emotions and live life to the highest standard you will avoid people who are determined to scam or cheat you. The reason we get caught up with players and predators is because we are willing to lower our standards in exchange for attention.
The quickest way to create a humdrum dating life is to lower your standards and accept anyone or anything that comes your way. If you wouldn’t settle for it from yourself why accept it from someone else? How you dress, speak, eat, care for your home, your car etc is all based on the standards that you set for yourself.
Keep them high. When you stay disciplined and focused others will either get with program or get out of your life. You won’t have to ask.
Make Yourself A Priority
Requirements, standards and boundaries are the three words that most people lack in their love lives. You have to know your limits and accept nothing less. You come first and attractive people make themselves a priority.
Some people may blame the attractive person of being selfish but you have to do what’s right for you first. That’s self love. Too often we do for others hoping they will reciprocate yet they never do. Then we find ourselves feeling bad because we compromised.
When you put yourself above all others, not in a selfish way, you’ll be amazed at how many people will harder to be in your life. This isn’t playing hard to get, this is actually being so involved in a life that you love that taking yourself away from it has to be worth it.
Attractive people don’t need to play hard to get because they really are busy and distracted with the wonderful life that they’re living. Treat yourself well and the people you date will take notice and treat you the same. When you are a priority to you, potential dates take notice.
Too often we bend over backwards to accommodate those we’re interested in out of fear and/or desperation. We make the person we’re dating a priority because we want to be liked and in a relationship.
When you have a life filled with commitments and priorities, yourself being one of them, potential dates will work hard to make themselves a worthy interruption. If you act however as if you wish your life were different and you can’t wait for someone to escape the monotony with, no one will come to your rescue.
Naturally attractive people don’t rely on looks or money to be successful in dating, they simply treat themselves as they expect to be treated. The put themselves first and they take care of themselves so that their confidence shines through. Try using these examples to improve areas in your own life and I promise you’ll see a dramatic difference in how you are treated in the dating world. I hope this was helpful.