Your love life is a reflection of your personal perception.
I needed to reiterate the title because it means so much to me that you really know that.
If your dating life sucks its because you think that you suck. Regardless of how people brag that they’re amazing and deserving, inside they feel unworthy of the love that they truly want.
If you want your love life to match your perception of you and realize into what you believe you truly deserve, you have to get real about how you feel about who you are.
Who are you? Who do you want to be? Who do you think you should be? I can’t answer these questions for you but I can teach you how to find the answers for yourself.
Here’s a challenge: Take off your clothes and look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see?
Do you see the real parts of you or what others have said about you? Maybe you see what you believe others see in you? Is that flattering, sexy, attractive or none of the above?
The truth is, when you look at yourself in the mirror, without clothes or cover ups all you see is a projection. Whatever you think or believe, that’s what you see. In order to be sexy, attractive, beautiful or desired you don’t need to change you, just your perception of yourself.
I’ve encountered several singles that truly feel like being them isn’t enough. Looking at yourself in the mirror is a good way to evaluate if you’re one of those people.
I try not to make my brand of advice “fluff” but it isn’t for everyone. Just like a certain diet might work for you but not for another, my advice isn’t a blanket suggestion meant to solve the problems of the worlds’ single population.
I will recommend that you take off your clothes and look at yourself in mirror and honestly check what you see.
Do you like yourself? Do you like what you see? Do you turn yourself on?
I guarantee that more often than not you see a glimpse of your reflection be it face or body and you say something negative. You continually dig away at your self-esteem, which makes it impossible for anyone to see anything differently.
Life is not a movie or the best episode of girls. You can’t be ugly and awkward but still expect out of nowhere for someone to tell you that you’re beautiful or desirable.
You’re a brand.
The world will believe about you what you tell the world about you. If you tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, sexy, smart or better than others the world will not argue with you.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, naked, listen to what those voices in your head say about how you look.
Do you need to change the message?
The game has not changed and the shit ain’t new. If you don’t like yourself you’re going to reject healthy positive relationships and gravitate towards shallow, shitty ones.
If you don’t like yourself you will never be as happy as you deserve to be, because you’ll always feel like there are SO many people out there who are better than you.
I didn’t invent the importance of healthy self-esteem in dating. And I will be the first to tell you that you don’t need to be happy, self-aware, positive, nice, and smart or any other characteristic to find a relationship, love or “the one.”
In fact, it’s likely that when you were at your lowest point in life you were in a relationship. It’s possible that when you met “the one” you were too deep in self-loathing to recognize them.
But again perception is everything.
If you think that you need to be a better person to get what you want out of dating then you’ll continually miss opportunities. You don’t need to be anything but you need to believe that you are everything. Everything that the right person would need, want and desire in a partner.