Trying to prove that you’re good enough for by anyone else’s standards but your own is a BIG waste of your time.
I haven’t lived your childhood or your experiences but we’ve all been through times when we tried to prove ourselves. Whatever the reasons we didn’t feel like we were “enough” at the time so we jumped through hoops and did the most when all we needed to do was believe in ourselves.
At some point in your life, you were led to believe that you weren’t good enough and you’ve been desperately trying to change to worlds’ mind ever since.
Maybe you failed a class, or disappointed your parents in your childhood. Maybe you were dumped before prom or skipped over for a position you knew you’d be great for. Maybe you still get overlooked when it comes to invitations and awards in your career field. Maybe you feel like you aren’t in control.
Or maybe you just can’t get a date.
There are many times in our lives when we feel like we aren’t good enough or deserving of a certain relationship.
We assume that we won’t be liked, chosen or accepted as a viable partner for the people we’re interested so we try extra hard to show that we are just as good, if not better, than anyone else.
Anyone who has ever dated an asshole knows that being a wonderful person or the best possible person is no guarantee that you will succeed in dating and love.
In fact, most kind and genuine people are afraid that being the “nice guy”, “bigger person” or taking “the high road” serves as a disadvantage.
While you’re trying to hang on to that halo, jerks and bad people are dating freely, more importantly the people that you want to be dating.
So if you don’t have to be good enough or the best person ever to succeed at dating, then what do you have to be?
If Halle Berry has taught me anything it’s that, beauty and success doesn’t always equal happiness and self-love. So trying to be perfect isn’t going to get you what or who you want.
Trying to be someone who you’re not is also a fool’s way of approaching relationships and lastly, trying to be what you think someone else wants you to be is the kiss of death.
So you don’t have to be “good enough” to get the man or woman of your dreams. All you have to do is be determined to be the best you possible.
It might sound generic but the reason you’re so ready and willing to change for someone else is because you secretly wish you were different.
You wish you were richer, or taller, or prettier or slimmer or as financially stable as other people your age, etc.
No matter where you feel that you fall short, feeling like you aren’t enough will make you susceptible to the idea that you can’t get what you want by being who you are: that’s just not true.
When we see couples and wonder how this guy got that girl or vice versa recognize that they attracted to themselves what they felt they deserved.
If you refuse to believe that you’re capable of doing the same then you will always attract what you want but feel like you don’t deserve it. And it will go away.
That’s no good.
You can change who you are now but you should only do it if you KNOW it will make you happier being who you are.
Once upon a time someone convinced you that you weren’t enough. You’re only choices are to accept that you are or become what you think enough will be.
Just don’t expect any amazing relationships in the meantime.
If you ARE in fact ready for a wonderful relationship and can come to terms with the fact that the right person will accept you for who you are, (cliché I know but SO true) start that relationship with yourself. That’s right, I said it.
Begin treating yourself with respect, showering yourself with compliments and applauding yourself for who you’ve become as an adult. After everything you’ve been through, here you are with a strong heart and a good head on your shoulders.
Think of yourself as a prize to be won over. If you can’t do that, then how do you ever expect someone else to do it for you?