Are Your Dating Traditions Keeping You Single?

I hosted my first twitter chat and I thought it was successful. It was new, something I’d never done before.

Although I’ve been apart of other twitter chats hosted by my favorite matchmakers and dating sites, I had never hosted my own. The first question was; should women ask men out. Understand that when you’re single, you’re constantly looking. Even when you’re not looking, you’re looking. I’ve seen women do everything short of New Orleans black magic to get a man to ask them out on a date.

The hoops some women jump through to get a man’s attention is the sole definition of thirst, yet when it was suggested that women ask men out, hit on men or initiate flirting, I got the sense from followers that it just wasn’t right.

It’s not tradition, the order of things, or the natural law of humanity. Single women would rather stay single than ask men on the date. Those that had asked men, didn’t have a good experience so were hesitant to do it again. As someone who considers herself an expert I’ve tried much of my advice. I’ve hit on men and asked men on dates. It went well, they agreed. My experience has been that there are some men that you want to ask you out that never will and there are some men that will ask you out that you have no business getting involved in. I believe that if you limit your dating to whoever asks you out, you’re eliminating a large group of people. You’re choosing from who ever chooses you.

The way singles meet changes the game as well. Not only do singles not meet traditionally, they don’t communicate that way. We socialize online; instead of meeting off we’re likely to text before a call so why should the men still hold all the cards?

If you’re interested in someone, suggest drinks or dinner. I believe the task of asking for a date belongs to who wants the date. So what holds women back, is it a fear of rejection, insecurity or tradition?

I don’t recommend anyone do what doesn’t work.

If you’re single and you aren’t getting dates, whether you’re a man or woman, you have to do better. There are several traditions and social mores we hold onto, afraid of being perceived in the wrong way if we don’t.

What if men aren’t asking women out because they just can’t afford to date? They realize that if they invite a woman to their place it seems tasteless and forward instead of financially savvy. Do traditional gender roles change because of a recession? There’s nothing worst about being single that not having a choice. If you’re waiting for the right person to cross your path and pluck you from obscurity and suddenly decide you’re the answer to their lonely prayers, good luck with that. Men and women need to attract each other, share space and exchange words. If you find that you have chemistry with the opposite sex, make it known. Don’t be afraid of what the other person will say.

Your job as you interact with potential dates is so create chemistry, attract them and encourage them to want to know more about you. No matter if you’re male and female, do that and someone you’ll be asked out.

If you’re a woman who feels it’s the man’s job to ask you out, you might be single a little longer than you’d like. Not because of tradition but because of history.


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