Looks don’t matter in dating. Any good-looking person will tell you that.
You can see for yourself by assessing the couples around you. Some great looking people, you might be one of them, are single and some less appealing people that you know, are boo’d up.
The elements that matter in dating are attraction, chemistry and interest.
Your job if you’re single is to create these feelings within potential dates. You should build attraction, develop chemistry and produce interest. The person you’re dating, meeting for the first time or pining after from afar will only give you the time of day if you do this.
I’ve written about these elements of interaction several times. If there were ever a formula for getting the people you want to want you, this would be it.
Let’s say you’re meeting someone for the first time. You see them at a bar, lounge or have a date planned. Maybe it’s a blind date or you’ve met this person online. There are multiple scenarios where you might find yourself in close proximity with someone you really like.
You want them to like you back but how can you achieve this. All they did was cross your path and all of a sudden you’re falling like the Berlin wall. How did they get you so into them with such little effort?
Maybe you’re easy or desperate but whatever the reason, there will be times when you meet someone who makes you nervous and interested in them with little to no effort.
You have a limited time to rally the same feelings.
Smile. You have to seem light and friendly. You have to seem inviting. Something you can’t accomplish without a smile. The most important element of successful flirting is smiling.
Eye contact. Don’t look down and don’t look away. You must convey self-confidence and assuredness.
Arm position. Open arms, with palms facing up mean you can be trusted. One arm close to your face or both arms to your side signify concentration. It shows that you’re paying attention to your potential partner.
Positive statements. We like people who make us feel good. Talking about good things help to do that. Don’t put yourself down. Instead of talking about what you hate or can’t stand, speak about what you love. Have excitement about your conversation topics. If it doesn’t make you happy to think about, don’t speak about it.
Affirmations. Too often we look to be validated instead of validating others. Let someone know ‘You’re absolutely right,’ ‘That’s a great point,’ or ‘That’s so true’. These are just a few phrases that echo your potential date’s statements and opinions. Repeat them often. Take a moment to show you’re listening and that you agree.
Touch. A pat on the back, knee or arm relays confidence. If you let your hand linger, you’ll no doubt come across as creepy but a slight touch can show you’re genuine. Your potential date will be intrigued and wonder what makes you so poised. They’ll be interested in your coolness.
We make mistakes when meeting people for the first time because we’re nervous. We’re eager for them to like us while thinking we’re inferior. You can appear to be far more confident by simply being aware of what you’re doing.
Are you making positive eye contact, smiling and exchanging warm touch? If you implement these gestures and behaviors that comes to some naturally, you will come across as very appealing.
Did I miss something?
Have you ever tried these behaviors when meeting someone at a bar or on a first date? How did it go? Share comments below.