The Real Reason You’re Single And Hating It

I put on a dress the other day that I’d bought in 2007.

As I pulled up the side zipper of my H&M bargain cocktail mini, I learned 3 important things.

I lost weight

I look amazing in emerald-green

I’m the only one who cares

If you don’t mind not be able to sit, eat, drink, and breathe the dress is a great look. But it isn’t the dress in itself that means anything, it’s the reason I bought the dress and tried desperately to fit into it: to stunt.

For a long time I thought I would never attract the right man until I lost weight. That belief is as untrue today as it was 6 pounds ago.

Yes, people are single.

The Dating Truth is most singles are not single for the reasons they believe they are. They’re single because they believe there’s a reason.

For most of my adulthood I believed I was single for 2 significant reasons.

  • I wasn’t thin enough
  • I wasn’t successful enough

The latter is a constant work in progress. The truth is, I’m as thin as I’d ever need to be to get a “man”. I’m a size zero in most stores that carry zeros. Sometimes I’m a 2 in pants but even if I were a size 20 there would be a man to love me, if I wanted one badly enough.

Oh, and if I believed I deserved it, love that is.

I went over this theory with a friend of mine not too long ago and she asked, “Well, what are we doing this all for?”

In my opinion, it’s to keep us sane. Smart people need a rationale. There are too many plausible answers when it comes to why people are single so we create explanations, and obstacles, to help us feel better about ourselves.

Even when the justification makes us feel worse, it’s better than not knowing.

It’s better to accept that singles are too picky, too closed-minded, too fat, too shy or living in the wrong city, than for someone to shake their head and say ‘I have no idea why you don’t have a man’.

The reality is, anyone can be in a relationship.

Singles look for rhyme and reason for their single status and sometimes the only reason is that you think there should be one.

Over the years, and saying ‘hi’ to 30 has made me realize that I don’t need to be a CEO or a size 00 before I find love. Those are just achievements that would make me feel better.

Being single is easy to rationalize. It sounds so much easier to quantify why, than to admit that we just don’t know.

Sure you’re ex, was a douche with commitment issues that should’ve realized what they had in you and would’ve if you lived in (insert prominent happening city).

Today, I’m willing to admit that I don’t know why I’m single, and its okay.

If there isn’t a legitimate reason, like I’m not attractive enough, or skinny enough that’s okay too. The Dating Truth isn’t about finding love or a relationship it’s about finding happiness and you can do it as you are, now.


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