I talk too much. I’m stubborn and argumentative. I’m always telling people what to do, just to name a few flaws. I am far from perfect.
Over the years I’ve learned that my imperfections don’t harm my dating life. Many singles are afraid to let other’s see their imperfections but I’ve learned that what you think is wrong with you is hardly ever the same thing that makes potential dates not like you.
In fact, what you think is wrong with you isn’t that big of a deal.
What does make an impact on how others feel about you is pretending that you have no flaws or that your flaws are no big deal or under your control. Acting like you could fix your flaws and be perfect any day you wanted to.
Our flaws embarrass us. We assume that we will be judged, and rejected for being who we are so we often pretend to be multiple people to be accepted. I’m asking that you stop this.
I write in a journal, I listen to pop music from Korea, I am extremely sensitive, I hate feeling left out, I am not financially stable, and I could go on but I am no longer self-conscious of these facts because I have lots of other great qualities.
You will never know why people do or don’t like you if you can’t accept yourself for being imperfect, flawed but fine all the same.
This acceptance doesn’t happen overnight. Our prides and egos convince us we are in competition with everyone. We are trained to outdo, and outshine by being better.
I used to be convinced that I had to have the perfect body and the perfect hairstyle or the man I wanted would never like me. I was riddled with insecurities, which by nature denote imperfections. Yet, we are determined to act like everything we do is right and perfect, like we don’t make mistakes.
The more insecure the person the more self-assured they act. Trying to prove that you are okay with everything in life can be just as detrimental as acting like you are perfect. The idea that you wouldn’t change a thing is pathetic. We would all change something if we could.
What we truly fear is being vulnerable. We assume that it will lead to hurt and pain, rejection and dating failure. The truth is, being authentic doesn’t mean that you are vulnerable. Showing that you know you are not perfect will not give your date license to treat you like second-hand merchandise either.
All you’re doing is giving yourself permission to be yourself.
People will try to embarrass you, convince you that you need to keep up with the Jones’s but you don’t. Being self-aware is the best gift you can give yourself.
It’s more than just acknowledging neither you nor anyone else is perfect, it’s ceasing to convince others that you might be.
No more, no less.