As we get closer to January 1st I can’t help but think what I truly want out of love. As a woman who enjoys being single I know better than most that just because you enjoy independence doesn’t mean you don’t want true love or a partner.
But I want to be honest with you.
You have to want one very important thing and that’s happiness. In the past I may not have stressed this point but if I have to write a thousand posts on the subject, I will.
Because I know, deep down in my heart that happy people are the most successful in love.
Sure, you can complain and cry about the million exceptions that you’ve heard of but you most likely will not be one of them. You can only be who are. You. There is only one of you. It might sound simple but if you read enough self-help books and watch enough reality TV, two things I highly recommend, you realize that people gots problems. You’re only goal is not be one of them.
Have you ever heard the saying, ‘In a blind man’s world the one eye man is king?’ Well, in the dating world that could be you. You can have an upper hand when it comes to dating by choosing to want happiness more than any thing else in the world.
The reason, it seems to me that many singles don’t make the choice is because they have a habit of not making the choice. If you’ve always picked red, why would you suddenly start choosing blue? I’ll tell you why, because red ain’t working. It’s not everyday that we examine our habits but our actions create our experiences. You can only get the results that you want by doing the correct action.
When you choose the behavior you choose the results.
You might not have the love life that you want right now but doing the same behaviors will get you the same results. This is typically the point in time when many singles resign to settling. They feel like they can’t change other people so no matter what they want out of love it largely depends on others what results they get.
Our choices are a result of our thinking. What motivates you to make the decisions that you make?
If you want to be happy, you need to accept that now you could be. Not tomorrow, not in a week, not after your paycheck clears but right this second as you read this post.
But how, you ask?
You have bills, you’re stressed out, you have more drama in your life than the cast of Real Housewives and the person that you’re dating (if you’re dating anyone) ain’t treating you right. What is there to be happy about?
If you can’t think of three things off the top of your head, maybe you need to pull out a pen and paper and make a list. But your choice to be happy is paramount when it comes to finding the “One”. It’s one that needs to be made now because no one wants to date a miserable person.
I’m not saying that you’re miserable but if you aren’t happy with you, don’t expect anyone else to be. So now that you’ve created a perspective of happiness, you can make decisions from a place of contentment instead of spite and misery.
When you are happy you can feel confident that situations will turn out in your favor. You can be optimistic. Happy people look on the bright side. Even if that bright side says, the person that I like likes me back. So maybe this sounds fluffy, artificial, unlike The Dating Truth and completely unrealistic. No one can be happy all the time and with all the sh*t you’ve seen and been through being happy in this moment is last thing you want to do.
In my opinion, it’s the first thing you can do to begin to see a difference in you’re love life.