Why do some many relationships fail?
I am constantly reading relationship books. Although many of them are geared toward couples, being in a relationship or finding commitment, I think some of the concepts can easily be applied to casual dating.
In ‘Getting The Love That You Want,’ by Harville Hendrix Ph.D., he describes his formula for a successful marriage. One of the concepts resonated heavily with me, when it comes to dating and that is the idea of the “power struggle”.
Power struggles in relationships basically occur when we decide to deny our partner of the things that would make them happy. The reason someone might deny their partner varies but it essential means, you won’t do for them because you feel that they have not done enough for you or that they don’t deserve it.
In dating single people are constantly at a crossroads. We want to express how we feel for someone else but we don’t want to come across as desperate, eager, weird etc. We also fear that if we give too much, it will not be reciprocated.
When we cater to what our partners wants we fear we will not be repaid efficiently with love or affection.
This causes us to carefully decide what we will or won’t do for our partner. This is a power struggle. You should do the things that will make the person that you’re dating happy. If you don’t think that they deserve it, you should find someone else.