How would you like to meet a potential date everyday?
Dating is a numbers game. Two of my favorite books ‘Get The Guy,’ by Matthew Hussey and ‘How To Get A Date Worth Keeping,’ by Dr. Henry Cloud stress this point repeatedly. If you don’t play the numbers you’re relying solely on luck to connect you with your soulmate. Think about that for a moment. Are you comfortable leaving your love life to chance?
The secret to playing the numbers, as both authors mention in their books, is you don’t have to date everyone you meet but you do have to meet them. You have to cross paths with the right people in order to meet the one for you.
Most singles would trade a million dates for one with the right person who made him or her feel special. No matter how much any of us enjoys our single lifestyle, we have a need and a desire to express love, and to be loved.
Unfortunately getting to the “one” requires going through the sea of options and possibly kissing a couple of frogs. There is no way to get to the point when it comes to dating. The person you want won’t just magically appear.
The one fact that singles can’t escape is this: There is no way to enjoy dating if at first you don’t enjoy meeting people.
Right now you hate meeting people likely because you feel that others are judging you. Why not, you’re judging them.
Every time we meet a potential date we can’t help but fast-forward to the future, is this person the “one”. We hate dating because we want to know if we’re wasting our time or not, and a host of other questions. It’s difficult to just live in that moment and enjoy the process of meeting new people if you’re constantly wondering what role they will play in your life.
The best thing you can do for your love life, especially if you’re serious about being in a long term relationship sometime soon, is to find the joy in meeting new people. Before you can date the right person you first have to meet people who want to date you then go from there.
The question I’m always asked, that you might be asking yourself is: Where do you meet potential dates? Where can you meet quality potential dates who will actually agree to go out with you?
The answer: places where there is little to no competition.
Online dating can be a meat market. Dating apps and sites that boast having millions of users are actually advertising how crammed the dating pool is. The chances of you finding the right person for you decreases if you don’t present yourself in an awesome package, which most people don’t.
You want to go places where your dates aren’t expecting to meet a potential date. There guard will be down and they’ll be more receptive to an introduction when they aren’t expecting it. We have all been in situations where we were caught off guard with someone who was flirting with us or into us but we failed to take advantage of the interaction.
The key to meeting more people is by creating these unlikely meetings.
Meeting these fantastic people that you want to date takes effort. Why? Because everyone wants to meet them, date them and claim them for their own.
You can meet potential dates going about your day, in the very same places you already frequent, you only need to be aware and prepared. The best places to meet single men and women that you have never thought of.
Starbucks/ Coffee shops
In case you haven’t noticed the country is going through an economic downturn. This is driving a lot of eligible singles to go back to school or start their own business; most of them are moving their office to the comforts of Starbucks and other coffee shops.
As someone who works from home, I can tell you it’s sometimes the hardest place to actually get work done. Many professionals who are starting businesses, studying for degrees are doing so at local coffee shops.
You may need to try a few coffee shops around town to find out which ones have the best traffic of good-looking people but it’s worth it. Not only will people approach you or you them there you have a host of conversation starters.
Take a book, or your own side projects, and don’t be afraid to start conversations.
The Gas Station
All you need to ask is, “How do you like that car, I just test drove one last week.” Lie or not, it’s a great conversation starter. If they’re interested you can admit that you haven’t been looking for new cars you just wanted to say hello and couldn’t think of anything else. Trust me, they will be flattered.
It doesn’t matter how you start a conversation, it just matters that you start one. I have gone to extra lengths to talk to good-looking men at the gas station and I did it because my love life is important to me.
Anyone who has a car or can rent one will find themselves at the gas station. All you have to do the next time you fill up your tank is to pay attention. Keep your eyes open for an attractive person. You’re there, why wouldn’t another eligible single be there too.
No one ever thinks of going to a hotel in the city that they live in, unless its Miami, NYC or LA. In my city I often frequent hotel bars because I know that’s where the men are. Men who travel, have interesting jobs and probably know nothing about Pittsburgh, where I live.
If you don’t think there are enough potential dates in your city you need to start checking for imports. The appeal of a hotel bar is that they are usually really nice. Catering to a variety of guests hotel bars tend to have great ambiance as well as great drinks.
The other perk of a hotel bar is, unless it’s the best bar in town, you likely won’t run into anyone you know. You don’t ever have to worry about seeing the same people.
Single, independent professionals love to spend money. If you’re looking for potential dates but hate nightclubs and bars just hit the mall or your local Galleria. Any mall is a great place to meet eligible singles because when people have “free” time, they tend to drink or enjoy retail therapy. Its a one stop shop for most people to get what they need, be it something for themselves or a thoughtful gift for someone else.
It’s a relaxed environment and there is no competition. Many singles will have their guards down and it’s very easy to say, “Excuse, do you know where there’s an ATM?” (Because that map is just too complicated)
The mall is also a great place to practice making small talk. There are so many people to interact with you can use it as practice for engagement.
Some people might read this article and think that all of these activities sound like work. If you don’t take control of your love life then how can you ensure that you will get the relationship that you deserve. If you aren’t willing to invest in finding a relationship then you don’t really want one. Looking for love is like looking for a job or getting your dream body. You have to make it a priority and you have to have a plan.
Are you ready to take your dating life to the next level? I believe in you! I hope this was helpful.