Handsome, charming, smart, kind and giving? Sounds like the perfect guy right? When you meet a man who seems like the man you’ve been waiting for your whole life, instead of embracing the moment we sometimes get scared and nervous. This is normal but it can be a huge set back in the relationship.
Although this is the man of your dreams you might wonder if you are the woman of his? If you’re ready for a relationship then these tips will prepare you to meet the man you’ve been dreaming of. It isn’t always easy to keep your cool but here are a few guidelines for getting Mr. Right and more importantly keeping him interested in dating you.
LET HIM APPROACH YOU
Not to sound old-fashioned but after my years of dating and writing about dating I find that women who let men approach them have longer lasting relationships. We tend to believe that true love is instinctual. If you believe that you will meet the right man then you don’t need to approach the wrong ones.
Recognize if you’re approaching men out of the need to control your circumstance or out of impatience or insecurity. Are you willing to let what is meant for you, come to you? This doesn’t mean you sit and wait to be chosen. Utilize your attraction skills, body language and eye contact to make approaching you easy and comfortable. Men appreciate women who are open and easy going.
I suggest flirting with heavy eye contact, getting close to, maybe even bumping him or walking past him and letting him speak to you. You can make it as easy as need be without seeming obvious. Some people might say, well, what does it matter who talks to who? If a man wants to talk to you, trust that he will. Give yourself at least that much credit. Your only job is to welcome the interaction by being inviting and light-hearted.
CALL HIM ONCE FOR EVERY THREE TIMES HE CALLS YOU
This is advice taken from the infamous self-help book ‘The Rules’ and I believe that it works. Some people might call this a game but dating is a game. If you don’t play by the rules then you risk losing a man to a woman who does. If a man contacts you and invites you on a date, in his mind he is courting you. If you start to take over the courtship but calling him unnecessarily then you will appear to be needy.
I hesitate to give this advice but I have seen it work time and time again. Unfortunately, we are human beings with bad habits when it comes to dating. One of those habits is lacking patience. Dating takes time. There is no need to feel bad or think that you aren’t doing enough to show that you like him.
Both parties should be putting in effort, but allowing a man to move at his own pace, if he is compatible with you, empowers him to be a man.
Give him the space he needs to be the man he wants to be. If that man isn’t aggressive enough then tell him so or stop dating. Wait for him to contact you [not by the phone of course] and end phone calls first.
I know it sounds strict and old-fashioned but again, human emotion is powerful. His desire and interest in you will be piqued because you haven’t oversaturated the relationship with your presence.
COMPLIMENT HIM OFTEN
When you compliment someone, you’re going out of your way to make them feel good. You show that you are confident because you aren’t waiting for them to boost your ego with kind words. When you can praise a man’s good qualities he is appreciative.
Men want to be appreciated just as women do. Make it appoint to recognize the man you’re dating for the little things that he does. Be genuine and thoughtful. Tell him that he’s smart, kind, caring, a great date and wonderful to be around. When you think a kind thought share it.
A man will appreciate your confidence. Instead of waiting for him to make you feel special, make him feel confident with a great compliment.
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
“Do you want to see me again?”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“When was your last relationship?”
Keep in mind that men are as nervous when dating as women are. Because women assume men have it all together we give up our power and leave the entire interaction in a man’s hands. Asking these questions help you to guide the courtship not take it over. You’re inquiring because you would like to see him again and that is the confidence he needs to move the relationship forward. Taking control of the situation saves you both time.
If you ask a man straight out, “Will I see you again?” And you don’t, its clear he lied. He’s scum. Move on.
If a man doesn’t want to see you again but lacks the nerve to tell you then these questions are a great way to bring his intentions to light. Don’t be afraid to ask bold questions because you fear being rejected. You want to know as soon as possible if this man is serious in pursuing you, so ask.
SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU FEEL
Women can talk a lot. I know that I do. I find that we say so much yet very little about how we truly feel.
There comes a time when we all grapple with those tough topics. Should you ask where is this going? Should you tell him to stop seeing other people? Can you say you might be falling in love? Probably not. If you feel happy with him, tell him. If you feel safe around him, let him know. Don’t be afraid to express the good feelings. Too often women wait until they’re hurt to share their feelings.
When you feel something share it. Be concise and honest.
It can be honest without being overkill. How do you know when you’re saying too much? Or enough? When he is clear on what you mean. Communication is key and you want to articulate what you feel without any confusion or misinterpretation.
TAKE IT SLOW
Patience is the key to great relationships.
It’s amazing when you start to feel positive emotions but we can’t let them take over us to the point that we burn out our promising relationship. You can’t rush or race to get to know someone.
That phase of getting to know someone for who they are is a long one. Embrace it because you will never get those moments back. Trust me. Try moving forward in a relationship with someone before you really get to know them and see how long it lasts.
A minute? Two minutes, check your watch. I’ll wait.
Try to limit your weekly time together. Don’t freak out if you don’t have a routine. Give each other space and when you can be together enjoy it. Sometimes women fear that their man is seeing other women, but you can see other men. It doesn’t mean that you don’t really care about your potentially perfect guy; it just means that you’re keeping your options open.
ENJOY HAPPY TIMES TOGETHER
Don’t fight. I know it seems crazy because dating is all about fighting right? Most of the time when men and women argue in new courtships, it is because someone did something that was seen as disrespectful. Forgive your man, and allow yourself to enjoy as many good times as possible.
It’s appropriate to share how you feel but in new relationships this person has no obligation to care. This is why you should embrace the positive, happy and joyous times. Before you get up in arms about all of the things that he isn’t doing, hasn’t done and probably will never do, list all of the great and kind things that this man is doing for you now.
Appreciate him. If he’s showing unfavorable behaviors, he might not be the one for you. It’s okay to move on.
Don’t try to make the moments uncomfortable out of anger or resentment. If he isn’t the man you want him to be then it’s better to know sooner than later. If you aren’t happy with his behavior don’t see him. Make sure all of your times together are happy ones.
INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR FRIENDS
There are many experts who recommend that a woman ingratiate herself with her new boyfriends friends, but it works both ways in my opinion.
Hopefully your friends will paint you in a great light and impress this man the way he would want his friends to impress you. While men do sometimes see this as a clear sign of wanting commitment its better to have a great time together than worry about what he will think of your intentions. There are however no guidelines or rules when it comes to relationships other than they take work.
They aren’t always easy. The most important rule is to be patient, when the right person comes along you may not need any advice at all but if you do I hope this was helpful.