Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it -William Arthur Ward
“Thank you so much.” When was the last time you said those words, in that order, to someone you were dating or anyone for that matter? Words have power. The right words said in the right order can make the biggest difference in how we are perceived. It may seem trivial but gratitude is one of the sexiest qualities that you can posses in dating. When you express appreciation for others you display a sense of confidence that’s rare today.
I understand that dating can feel like a competition. There are so many people trying to compete with looks and bedroom skills but if you really want to separate yourself from all the other eligible singles out there, these words could save your love life. It begs the question, ‘Why are people so ungrateful?’
I preach over and over the importance of saying “Thank you.” It costs you no dignity, pride, self-respect, cool points etc, to say “Thanks”, yet many single men and women seem to skip this step.
Do you believe that there is nothing to be grateful for?
Do you suffer from a sense of entitlement?
Do you assume that you’re doing someone else a favor by blessing them with your presence?
Ultimately when you acknowledge that someone has done something nice for you, saying “Thank you” is a way to show appreciation and gratitude. It’s getting more difficult, however, to decide what actions are nice, required, or done with a hidden agenda. In my assumption, and I could be totally wrong (I doubt it) men and women don’t say “Thank you” as often as they should it’s because it’s getting harder and harder to distinguish these benevolent gestures.
Every kind action is under suspicion of having ulterior motives. The idea of thanking someone for just showing up almost never crosses our minds.
So when should you say “Thank you so much?”
- When your date looks attractive
- When your date offers to pay for a meal or drinks
- When your date is actually great company
The truth is, appreciation isn’t limited to someone’s extra effort. It’s ok to be appreciative that they put in any effort at all. As a child you were likely told, “Thank you,” for doing all of the right things, not going above and beyond. I’m sure it felt good when someone thanked you for cleaning up your mess, being kind to others, sharing, being quiet and well-behaved.
You were probably shown praise for doing what was expected of you until it became so naturally that you didn’t notice when it started to go unnoticed. As an adult, I realize that good deeds, even when they’re what you should do, shouldn’t go unrecognized.
It makes others feel very good about themselves when you acknowledge that they put in some effort. Even if that’s what you required or expected. Anyone shown appreciation and gratitude finds it satisfying and it works harder for your approval. My solution to gaining favor and admiration quickly is this: say, “Thank you very much,” to everyone for everything. Often and emphatically. I think saying it feels as good as hearing it. Date with a very grateful heart and don’t be stingy with your praise.
If you take it upon yourself to simply say “Thanks” all of the time for everything, you’ll find it easier to say it the man or woman you’re dating. Even when they haven’t done much more than show up. Your alternative is to not be grateful, which is as abundant in dating as being negative.
Worst than being negative, is being cynical and actually believing that it doesn’t matter if you’re gracious or not. You don’t want to be the kind of person whose ego is so big that being appreciative, of even the tiniest action, is a chore. You don’t want to be the kind of person who can’t express their appreciation. You definitely don’t want to be the kind of person who lets someone’s efforts go unnoticed.
If you want to build strong relationships and earn the respect of others quickly, just learn to say ‘thank you’ and mean it. Learn to be grateful and appreciate the little things because those compound over time and inspire others to give more than they would had they received no recognition at all. Use the power of your words to build bonds. It might seem trivial but it can make a huge impact. Just try it and see for yourself.