Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition – Timothy Leary
When was the last time you paid for a date? This week I was reading one of my favorite dating advice blogs, www.evanmarckatz.com. He listed an interesting mix of articles and websites that had caught his attention, the #2 most visited being a link to poll results done by LearnVest about who should pick up the check on a date. Ultimately the popular answer was the man or (in the case of same-sex relationships) whoever asks.
My reaction was, “Are we still talking about this?” If you’re on the fence about who pays for a date, let me put your mind at ease, the man.
When men take a woman on a date they aren’t just paying for a meal or a movie, they are paying the price of their un-originality. Men should never complain about having to pay for a date that they’ve planned. There are multiple inexpensive to free options for a date but it takes a little more brainpower than a ratings search on Urban Spoon. If you’re a man who can’t think outside of the box then you’re really paying for your lack of creativity.
Dating will eventually cost money, it can be expensive but the first date doesn’t have to cost a dime. If it does it should come out of the man’s pocket.
If you would, for whatever reason, like a woman to contribute on a date it’s best to tell her before hand.
If a man suggests to a woman, “Hey, I know parking can be expensive would it be okay if you just split the cost of a cab?” If the woman likes you, she’ll agree or she’ll back out of the date. If he waits until you’re at the attendant’s booth then leans over and says, “Do you have any cash?” That’s when tempers flair.
The best way to avoid this dilemma if you’re a woman is to avoid men who are likely not to pay for a date but that’s another post.
If you’re a woman who has a problem with a man paying for a date, get help. Cure yourself. What I have found is that we are a culture that’s accustomed to saying “No, thank you,” instead of just “Thank you.” Some Women don’t know how to be grateful. (yeah, I said it) While we are a gender who feels under appreciated we fail to give appreciation when a man does something nice for us. Women constantly assume, “If he pays for meal wont’ he expect me to sleep with him?”
Well, Bank of America expects me to make a payment on time, that doesn’t always happen. Expectations are like opinions; we all have them.
There is nothing a woman can do to prevent a man from expecting or wanting anything. What a woman can do is be expressively grateful, thank the man for his time and his respect. The amazing thing about men is that when you praise them a little, they are less likely to want to lose that respect. He’s less likely to act like an asshole. Basically, a pat on the back goes a long way.
And again women will say, “Well, why should I thank him for doing what he’s supposed to do?”
As a child we were given incentives for doing what we were supposed to do. Those gold stars for having manners, sharing and cleaning up our messes still mean a lot to some people.
Don’t deny someone else just because you don’t need them anymore…. and um, because it works. I’ve been on a few dates where I was apprehensive about if the man was going to take care of the bill. I hated that feeling. Its uncertainty and that’s not the feeling you want out of a man; women want security. A woman wants to feel like a man is capable of taking care of her it makes her feel safe in his presence. If I’m unsure if a man is going to pay for me when we go out, I’m not 100% sure he’s going to push me out-of-the-way of danger.
When a man doesn’t pay for a date it feels like he’s looking out for himself that is not an appealing quality for a relationship.
As important as it is for a man to feel that he should pay for a date, it’s just as important for a woman to believe she should be paid for. Everyone who disagrees can just date each other and split the tab.
Who paid for your last date, how did you feel about it? I want to know.
I hope this was helpful.