Do you wish you could meet more appealing singles who were not only attractive but intriguing as well?
When we think of single life, the fabulous ones, we imagine big cities and bright lights. Everyone is good-looking and at anytime you can lock eyes with a beautiful stranger, stumble into the quaintest coffee shop and fall in and out of love every day.
And did I mention it’s a perfect 84 degrees?
That fantasy isn’t the life that most singles lead but I wonder, how conducive to dating is your current?
When we want to thrive we place ourselves in a productive environment. We choose schools and institutions where we can learn the most, and gain the best education. We search for jobs, careers, and workplaces where we can further our careers while attaining experience but when it comes to dating, we never think to cultivate an environment for success.
So what exactly is a healthy dating environment?
- You are constantly meeting and interacting with potential dates near your age.
- Your energy level is upbeat and attractive to the opposite sex
- You have multiple pipelines of friendships that connect you with more and more people
Depending on your dating goals the definition might include a few other factors; nonetheless what is important to singles is meeting quality people. No matter who you are or what your dating goals are, a healthy dating environment starts with a few simple requirements.
If you aren’t meeting quality people on a regular basis you do not have a healthy dating environment. By quality people, I mean singles that you would want to date. The kind of men and women that are kind, honest, interesting, friendly and inviting.
If you believe that dating is a numbers game then it’s important to involve yourself in two types of systems:
1. You are constantly meeting potential dates.
2. You see potential dates more than once. They are constantly crossing your path.
Let’s face it, just because you see a great looking stranger across the street doesn’t mean you’re going to exchange numbers. You may find yourself observing good-looking people often. Unless you are in a healthy dating environment you will see them once and never again. Not exactly odds in your favor. That means you have one chance to ask them out if you ever want to see them again.
If someone you’re interested in is connected with a friend, an organization or an industry that you are familiar with, the chances of you seeing them again increases.
This will improve your proximity, which will likely get you a date.
About a year ago, maybe more, I met a man who was new to my city. I chitchatted with him; he was with a friend of mine and learned a little about him then went on my way. A few days later, if not the next day or weekend, I ran into him at a coffee shop in a different part of town.
A few months later, he was a customer at the car dealership where I worked. Another time I saw him in the lounge of his apartment building where I was meeting my web designer who happened to know him as well.
Most recently I ran into him at a restaurant and introduced him to a friend of mine who he became quite obsessed with. Over the time that we’ve been crossing each other’s paths he’s failed to connect with more people in the city.
This happens to lots of singles. He is surrounded by married colleagues, has limited friends and doesn’t have a very upbeat, inviting energy. He has not created a healthy environment for dating but insists that it’s the city and not him.
To make it easy on yourself, start with this thought: There are many wonderful potential dates out there for me; I just have not met them yet.
How do I know this is true? Because if you have not met them, they have not met you and you are wonderful!
Decide now that you are creating for yourself a wonderful dating environment where you will meet and connect with potential dates on a regular basis. It all starts on your attitude.
You don’t want to just meet people, but to connect with people. You want to be invited to events where you can interact with crowds, circles and cliques that were previously outside of your reach or social scope. The reason you haven’t been able to do this before is because you assumed if it’s worth doing you’ve done it, and if someone is worth knowing you know them. If it’s worth going to you’ve been there and so on.
You are limiting yourself by believing there are certain types of people who you will find success with and you will only find them in certain places. Newsflash; you haven’t found them yet and you’ve been going to these places over and over. Thus the negative record begins to play.
What I’m looking for isn’t here.
I can’t find what I’m looking for.
What I’m looking for doesn’t exist.
Wah, wah, wah…
Negativity does not attract supportive people.
The key to creating a healthy dating environment starts with great energy, an open mind and intention. If you can find a way to step outside your box and expand your boundaries, what you’ll find might be just what you’ve been looking for.