How To Keep Your Date Interested In The Conversation

When we meet strangers, in any setting, we’re burdened with the task of keeping them interested. Maintaining the interest of a potential date can be a difficult duty. One important element of any interaction is setting yourself apart. Being interesting and better yet unforgettable is a challenging but possible act.

How can you set yourself apart?

In my view, asking interesting questions can catapult an average interaction to a life changing one. People like to talk about themselves. It’s a fact that can’t be denied. When you allow potential dates to do just that, you create attraction and interest.

So how do you ask interesting questions?

Forget the traditional who, what, where, why, when and how. Instead try these unique starters that you may have forgotten to incorporate into your everyday conversation.

In this video I talk about using are, is, it’s, would, and have to start questions. These interrogative words can take simple questions from ordinary to informative. They can engage your potential date and inspire thought.

Take a moment to consider new ways to ask traditional questions that engage and interest the people that you’re talking to.

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6 Simple Steps To Masterful Flirting

Flirting is your best defense against anyone who has a guard up against you. It’s the first step to building trust with a stranger and it gives you permission to engage with whoever you’re speaking with on a deeper level.

I love to flirt. It’s my favorite form of communication and I rarely limit who is at the mercy of my special formula of smile, hair toss, wink and repeat. I was once asked if there is such a thing as excessive flirting? In my opinion, no. If it’s excessive or your behavior is somehow seen as negative or gratuitous, you’re just doing it wrong.

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Win Your Date Over In The Very First Conversation

You need more dates, more people to like you and better luck approaching potential dates than you’re having now. Am I right?

The [Dating] Truth is, if someone decides that they don’t want to date you before they get to know you, that’s a problem.

The idea of dating is to get to know another person, to decide if a relationship or even a friendship is possible. If you find yourself out of the race before you even start running, you have failed at the basics of what dating is. When I hear stories of women who are still giving their number away and not getting called or men pursuing women who have absolute no interest in a date, not even a free meal, I know that there is work to be done.

Some people feel dating should be much more natural, Kismet almost. You should walk down the street, have a chance encounter with a stranger and bam, in love you fall~ careful not to scratch your knees. That’s a nice fairytale but that’s not life. The reason love takes much more work today than ever before is because the message of what you should be looking for has been skewed.

In past generations more singles were on the same page. Happiness was a crapshoot and all you wanted was the American Dream and bourbon. Nowadays love, dating, sex and marriage are a lot more complicated. So if you want to have success you have to put in far more effort than you might have been prepared for.

The good news is that all the hard work, that I suggest at least, should make you a better you.

Being the best you possible is the real secret for dating success. The reason, I believe we have to be better people today than ever before is because they’re so many options in life.

Think of how many people aren’t happy with their Ipad, they want the Ipad 2.

People assume that somewhere there is a better version of everything even people, if you aren’t your best self, your potential date will go looking for you 2.0.

So what makes you actually win with the people who you’re dating? What makes them more into you than any person that they’ve already met?

Dating is about you, not someone else.

I know it seems like you can’t control what another person thinks of you but you have more control over it than you think. There are elements of all human psyches that are looking to be sold something that will make them feel good. People are looking to feel good and dating you should be the answer.

The only way to convince someone that dating you will feel good or be fun is to hit the ground running. Don’t let a moment go pass without sending the message that you will be interesting, funny, kind and stimulating.

So how can you do this? It must be hard or everyone would do it right?

It can only be done if you focus your intention on one thing and that’s success. Confidence is key but it’s hard to build. If I were to tell anyone just be confident I don’t think this blog would be successful at all. Confidence is a nice concept but it is difficult to master.

Not caring isn’t the solution but caring too much is detrimental.

You have to put it perspective. Confidence can only come if you know that what you’re doing will be successful.

So of course you have to decide what your barometer for success entails. What do you want to happen?

You see someone attractive, you want to talk to them, and you want to have their contact information or give them yours so you can get to know them better.

Stop there.

If you pay any attention to what you don’t want to happen you’ll fail. The minute you start fantasizing about weddings and boyfriend material, getting a woman into bed or making out with her, you will fail. But you want these things to happen right? Take it one step at time.

You can lose the flow of the interaction worrying about anything outside of the present moment. Listen to them closely for IOIs (indicators of interest) and allow body language to help you flirt more effectively. Notice if they’re talking in present or future tense. Beware of departing statements:

“I’m leaving soon,”

“I need to find my friends”

“It was nice to meet you”

Don’t worry about if you get nervous, that doesn’t mean you aren’t confident. It only means that you’re human. Just don’t allow your emotions to dictate the interaction.

Oh yeah and stay positive, happy dating…

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How To Create A Successful Enviroment For Dating

Do you wish you could meet more appealing singles who were not only attractive but intriguing as well?

When we think of single life, the fabulous ones, we imagine big cities and bright lights. Everyone is good-looking and at anytime you can lock eyes with a beautiful stranger, stumble into the quaintest coffee shop and fall in and out of love every day.

And did I mention it’s a perfect 84 degrees?

That fantasy isn’t the life that most singles lead but I wonder, how conducive to dating is your current?

When we want to thrive we place ourselves in a productive environment. We choose schools and institutions where we can learn the most, and gain the best education. We search for jobs, careers, and workplaces where we can further our careers while attaining experience but when it comes to dating, we never think to cultivate an environment for success.

So what exactly is a healthy dating environment?

  • You are constantly meeting and interacting with potential dates near your age.
  • Your energy level is upbeat and attractive to the opposite sex
  • You have multiple pipelines of friendships that connect you with more and more people

Depending on your dating goals the definition might include a few other factors; nonetheless what is important to singles is meeting quality people. No matter who you are or what your dating goals are, a healthy dating environment starts with a few simple requirements.

If you aren’t meeting quality people on a regular basis you do not have a healthy dating environment. By quality people, I mean singles that you would want to date. The kind of men and women that are kind, honest, interesting, friendly and inviting.

If you believe that dating is a numbers game then it’s important to involve yourself in two types of systems:

1. You are constantly meeting potential dates.

2. You see potential dates more than once. They are constantly crossing your path.

Let’s face it, just because you see a great looking stranger across the street doesn’t mean you’re going to exchange numbers. You may find yourself observing good-looking people often. Unless you are in a healthy dating environment you will see them once and never again. Not exactly odds in your favor. That means you have one chance to ask them out if you ever want to see them again.

If someone you’re interested in is connected with a friend, an organization or an industry that you are familiar with, the chances of you seeing them again increases.

This will improve your proximity, which will likely get you a date.

About a year ago, maybe more, I met a man who was new to my city. I chitchatted with him; he was with a friend of mine and learned a little about him then went on my way. A few days later, if not the next day or weekend, I ran into him at a coffee shop in a different part of town.

A few months later, he was a customer at the car dealership where I worked. Another time I saw him in the lounge of his apartment building where I was meeting my web designer who happened to know him as well.

Most recently I ran into him at a restaurant and introduced him to a friend of mine who he became quite obsessed with. Over the time that we’ve been crossing each other’s paths he’s failed to connect with more people in the city.

This happens to lots of singles. He is surrounded by married colleagues, has limited friends and doesn’t have a very upbeat, inviting energy. He has not created a healthy environment for dating but insists that it’s the city and not him.

To make it easy on yourself, start with this thought: There are many wonderful potential dates out there for me; I just have not met them yet.

How do I know this is true? Because if you have not met them, they have not met you and you are wonderful!

Decide now that you are creating for yourself a wonderful dating environment where you will meet and connect with potential dates on a regular basis. It all starts on your attitude.

You don’t want to just meet people, but to connect with people. You want to be invited to events where you can interact with crowds, circles and cliques that were previously outside of your reach or social scope. The reason you haven’t been able to do this before is because you assumed if it’s worth doing you’ve done it, and if someone is worth knowing you know them. If it’s worth going to you’ve been there and so on.

You are limiting yourself by believing there are certain types of people who you will find success with and you will only find them in certain places. Newsflash; you haven’t found them yet and you’ve been going to these places over and over. Thus the negative record begins to play.

What I’m looking for isn’t here.

I can’t find what I’m looking for.

What I’m looking for doesn’t exist.

Wah, wah, wah…

Negativity does not attract supportive people.

The key to creating a healthy dating environment starts with great energy, an open mind and intention. If you can find a way to step outside your box and expand your boundaries, what you’ll find might be just what you’ve been looking for.

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