How I Create a Love Plan

When people tell me dating is easy for me, referring to my looks, I always laugh and say it’s even harder because I’ve dated everybody.

I feel like I have dated everyone. From athletes, lawyers, doctors, salesmen, unemployed, engineers, Americans, Russians, Africans and the list goes on.

I’ve never found it difficult to get a date but what I’ve found over the years that I’ve been writing about dating, is that most people don’t care about the date.

For most people, the destination is far more important than the journey and they would rather get to paradise and have a lousy time than to be stuck in the world’s most beautiful airport.

I get it.

I really do understand how important love is to most people. Unfortunately when you’re single you can develop an unrealistic view of what relationships are actually like. You might find yourself so caught up in a fantasy or a memory of what you had that you create an idea in your mind that isn’t accurate.

It’s like visiting a place as a child, having a fond memory of it but revisiting it as an adult you realize it isn’t all that great. Why had you thought it was?

Many singles find themselves longing for relationships regardless of the fact that they are yet to have a good one. Then again, we all just want a do over, another chance to do better and be better.

I am not immune to wanting love and a wonderful man in my life just like anyone else. It makes me feel special. But I am not the kind of person who can sit back and wait for the universe to take its sweet time to bring me a Boris Kodjoe’s lookalike.

So because of this I created a love plan. A ritual of things I do to attract the right kind of love into my life.

1. I get specific. If you can’t name it you can’t claim it. – What do you really want out of a partner? I’ve only been in a handful of relationships and none of them were anything to write home about. When I started to get clear on what I wanted, it was easier to avoid what I didn’t want.

And skip the list mentality. Write down what you explicitly need.

Ex. I want a partner who compliments me more than they put me down. Who has a positive attitude, who thinks it’s important to hear my voice every day and who finds joy and satisfaction in making me happy.

2. I meditate. In the morning and in the evening I take about 10 minutes repeat: “The universe is sending me a wonderful man”. I visualize how I will feel in a loving and healthy relationship and I recite a meditation for attracting love. You can find them anywhere but one of my favorites can be found in ‘The Power of The Subconscious Mind,’ by Joseph Murphy.

3. I have faith. I remind myself in as many ways as necessary that I will be in a wonderful relationship with a partner who is loving, generous and kind. I never worry that I’ve missed my chance or that I am not worthy. I never let myself believe that I can’t do better or that what I want doesn’t exist.  (If you can name it, you can claim it)

To some, this might seem like a lot of work. Doesn’t love just fall into your lap? Won’t you know the right person when you see them? If it’s meant to happen won’t it happen without your help?

As a woman who has met a lot of desperate men in her life, I have seen the ill effects of not preparing yourself for the love that you want. Many of us think we’re ready for that exceptional partner but when we meet them we think we aren’t good enough. We believe they are too good to be true. We feel inferior.

That sucks.

This plan works for me because I can trust my instincts when I know I’ve asked God/The Universe/ The subconscious mind to be on my side. I have faith that I deserve what I am asking for and I have full belief that it’s out there for me and I can attract it. Try it and see what happens. It might just work for you.


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What The Man Shortage Can Mean For Your Love Life

If you can’t get a date or you can’t find a man, I hate to break it to you but all the rumors you’ve heard about there being a man shortage are lies ALL LIES.

There is no such thing as man shortage!!

We hear over and over the studies that claim that there are more men than women, men in jail, gay men, married men until slowly but surely the number of eligible bachelors (once you take out the shorties, the brokies and the fatties) are so slim, you’re considering becoming try-sexual.

You’ll try anything sexual.

Today, the only way to combat some of the challenges of meeting Mr. Right is to understand what is holding you back from finding him in the first place. Lets face facts: lots of people play the lottery and only a few win.

You want to be a winner don’t you?

It’s no different in dating. Sure there are married people, but there are divorced people. Yes some men cheat, and unfortunately people die. Just because you find a man and take yourself out of the dating pool does not mean that you’ll be happy or out of the dating game for good.

Part of the idea of dating being a numbers game that I find flawed is that once you do find a good man there is no guarantee that it will last. Once you get back into the dating world blaming the numbers isn’t going to help you. Especially since now there will be one less man to choose from.

There are enough men on earth for the women who want them. The only thing holding any woman back from finding the right man is having the right attitude. The same could be said about wealth, there is plenty of money but we all aren’t rich!

It’s important to learn what attracts men.

The ability to attract quality men over and over allows you to have quantity on your side. That way when one relationship doesn’t work out, you can move right along and attract someone else.

Also, why date with the fear that good men are hard to come by? Good men are easy to come by but attracting them may be harder for some women than for others.

To make sure that the men you meet always find you attractive, interesting and a possible potential partner, you must embrace one important key to dating: it’s all about attraction.

It’s unlikely a man will want to date you if he isn’t attracted to you. (Luckily for men, women don’t have such strict restrictions.) Men aren’t as understanding as women and if you don’t turn them on, they won’t take you out.

Your goal is to find a way to appeal to men and the more the better.


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4 Conversation Techniques That Will Guarantee He’ll Ask You Out

Networking and Dating

There are many experts that will always tell you what not to do in dating.

From their point of view it makes sense. Every situation is different and if someone were to tell you, step by step, what to do in dating, it might not apply to your situation. The information might not be useful or effective and this expert might lose their credibility.

Well, I’m going to break the rules and tell you the [dating] truth. Why because think of it like changing a tire, or learning to drive. Every car is different but once you know the basics you can navigate your way through the particulars and come out successful. That is what I believe in when it comes to dating men.

Yes, men are different and so are situations but I have mastered the very basics of what I believe is necessary in attracting men and I think they work.

You don’t have to follow my advice, of course.

So let’s imagine you are engaged in conversation with a man that you don’t know. Let’s disregard how it started. You are speaking with a stranger and just after you say hello you want to make sure that he will:

1. Take your number,

2. Call you the following day,

3. Ask you on a date,

4. Proceed to date you until you lose interest.

When I date men that is exactly what happens. I want the same to happen to you. And go…

Smile. A lot. Smiling says that you’re happy, you’re engaged, and you’re enjoying yourself. Smiling is the first step to flirting and if you can’t flirt with men, you fail. You will encourage him to smile if you can talk about light-hearted and funny topics. If you start upon a serious topic, you better have a good ass reason. There are very few instances that you will need to speak about weighted subjects when you first meet a man.

If you can’t find a way to change the subject, pause, look away, turn your head towards him, smile, then take two to three glances toward the floor.

I want to let women in a little secret; just because you’re having a conversation doesn’t mean you have to fill every second with words.

Actions and body language speak very loud. Use meaningful pauses and eye contact to your advantage. Smiling says, I’m happy but it also implies that you’re genuine, available, interested and easy-going.

Compliment him. Many women just don’t give men enough compliments. You have to say very nice things to a man to make him feel at ease. Sure, if you’re pretty enough a man could careless but giving anyone a genuine compliment can make all the difference in how they feel about you.

But because you are going to bust his balls a little later in the conversation, compliments are a great way to encourage him to seek your approval. Yes, I know it sounds like an odd phrase but in a conversation, someone is always looking to be validated. They are looking to be right. You want a man to want your approval or to think that he is winning you over. You both have some sort of agenda trust me. You might come to learn that you’re both just interested in getting to know each other, that’s fantastic. However one of you will have to take control of the situation, I’m suggesting it be you.

Use sarcasm. Many women are afraid to say or do the wrong thing, let me tell you now, get over it. What you say and do is a reflection of who you are. If a man doesn’t like it now he isn’t going to like it a month later. Sarcasm is a handy tool in that little tactic called ball busting. Why do men like it? Because that is how they communicate to each other and nothing wins a man over faster than a woman who seems to act like a man. As much as I try to stay away from sarcasm because I already say things that sound like I’m joking when I’m serious, it’s an easy way to be funny.

It’s sometimes a man’s only way.

Talk about an action. No matter where you meet a man there is always an opportunity to talk about an action. Where are you coming from? What are you doing after this? What are you making for dinner? Where do you usually do (name an activity)? If you don’t talk about doing things, he won’t think about doing things with you. You have to find a reason to exchange numbers and you have to make a connection with why he should call you. If you don’t talk about actions and activities, you will lose your segue to let’s hang out.

It gives a man a reason to call you. See many women just chitchat. They talk without purpose. When you are flirting with a man and you want him to call you, he’s looking for any excuse he can find to do so. Maybe he has the confidence to say, “This is so and so, we met at that place the other night, remember?” Not likely.

A man is more likely to call you to follow-up on something that was said in the conversation even if it was tentative plans to go on a date.

If you can secure a date before you leave his presence, do so. Sometimes you have to imply a date. That’s okay too. You must convey to this man that the only reason you’re talking to him is because you think he’s cute and you would like to go out sometime.

If you have to use that exact line do it, it’s better to be rejected right there and then than to have any false hope.

This is the [dating] truth. If you don’t have any game, you need to get some. Why do you think companies have so many policies? If they relied on adults to just do what they thought was best or right, they would have a deluge of lawsuits on their hands. When it comes to interactions, winging it is a horrible idea.

You should have a goal, an intention and a means of turning that intention into reality.

You should not talk to another man who you’re interested in without him feeling the same about you. You should not leave another conversation without giving a man your phone number and knowing with absolute certainty he’s going to call. You should never for one second, wonder what went wrong. The next time you talk to a good-looking man it should be successful and lead to a date. If I didn’t think you could do it, I wouldn’t even waste my time. You are capable of taking full control of your dating life, this is just one place to start.

What is your biggest challenge talking to men? Leave your comments below.


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8 Simple Rules For Keeping A Man Interested In You

Handsome, charming, smart, kind and giving?

Sounds like the perfect guy right? When you meet a man who seems like the man you’ve been waiting for your whole life, instead of embracing the moment we sometimes get scared and nervous. This is normal but it can be a huge set back in the relationship.

Although this is the man of your dreams you wonder if you are the woman of his?

If you’re ready for a relationship then these tips will prepare you to meet the man you’ve been dreaming of. It isn’t always easy to keep your cool but here are a few guidelines for getting Mr. Right and more importantly keeping him interested in dating you.

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