Why Women Should Never Split The Check

dating advice the dating truth

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition – Timothy Leary

When was the last time you paid for a date?

This week I was reading one of my favorite dating advice blogs, www.evanmarckatz.com. He listed an interesting mix of articles and websites that had caught his attention, the #2 most visited being a link to poll results done by LearnVest about who should pick up the check on a date.

Ultimately the popular answer was the man or (in the case of same-sex relationships) whoever asks.

Continue Reading

Is Sex On The First Date Ever A Good Idea? Or An Act Of Desperation?

I don’t have a lot of sex. Never has it ever been a dilemma in my life whether or not to have sex on the first date. In my mind, if you have sex with a stranger the very first time that you go out, it’s likely to be your last date. Of course there are exceptions to the rule and we all have that one girl’s cousins, sister’s, neighbors, uncles, and nanny’s best friend who had sex on the first date and ended up happily married. Exceptions to the rule exist but be real, they don’t apply to most of us. Although the question is generally aimed at women. “Should you have sex on your first date?” and my expert opinion is NO.

Imagine you were eating at a restaurant and you had the most amazing filet mignon that money could buy. You thought it was delicious so much so, that you wanted to thank the chef. When the chef stops by your table he informs you that he actually dropped your steak on the floor before it was cooked but since heat kills most of the germs, you’d be fine, you won’t get sick, nothing to worry about. How would you feel? Sick, cheated, disgusted, suspicious and likely never to eat at that restaurant again.

If a man can have sex with a woman on a first date and be unconcerned with if she has ever had sex with anyone else so casually, kudos to him but I doubt it. It may seem harmless and like a man won’t pass judgment on a woman who lets him hit it but society says there is something wrong. You can assure yourself that it doesn’t matter to you and that it doesn’t matter to your date but you cannot undo years of brainwashing and social conditioning. Whether it matters in the grand scheme of getting to know a person, I can’t say but it’s hard for someone growing up in today’s society to completely erase the negative connotations associated with the act. Why risk a budding relationship on impulse.

To me the more important question is, “Why would you want to have sex on the first date?” If you want to have sex with someone then you’re wasting a lot of time chitchatting and bullshitting unnecessarily over a cheap meal and weak drinks. If you’re going along with the charade of a date when you really just want to have sex, you’re wasting your time. If you care nothing about a relationship then have all the sex that you desire. Those women however, who complain that they never get men to commit to them but they’re giving up the cookies like it’s a St. Bernadette’s Sunday School bake sale, those are the ones who may need press pause on having sex too soon.

Single men and women date with their own agendas yet ask strangers to play by rules that they don’t even know. Women don’t have to believe that sex is so important to a man that after she gives it up the man has nothing to work for. Maybe that’s not true. Although it has been proven time and time again that a woman is more likely to get dumped the sooner she sleeps with a man, that doesn’t mean it will happen every time.

What I believe is that you have to be an asset in another person’s life for them to want to continue to date you. You have to add value to a person’s life and the person you are dating has to feel better with you than with someone else. Sex, is just too easy to come by for it to be an asset in landing a man. Every woman has a vagina so I refuse to believe that it’s some kind of trump card for landing in a relationship. It’s likely that having sex on the first date will lead you into a relationship with a man that’s just a ho. Renowned matchmaker, Rachel Greenwald, says it best in her book, “Have Him at Hello…” the point of a first date is to get a second date. Is sex really necessary?

Have you ever had sex on the first date? How did it work out? Is it a do or a don’t? The Dating Truth.com wants to know.

Continue Reading

Three Dating Truths That All Single Men And Women Should Know

There are rules to dating. Clearly they’re not posted anywhere convenient but when people don’t follow proper etiquette or protocol it doesn’t go unnoticed. Call them social mores or requisites but as unpredictable as dating can be single men and women still have certain expectations. We may not have a manual but once you’re of a particular age there are a few concepts that all adults mutually understand. When singles get frustrated by the dating game it’s because the most cardinal rules have been forgotten. I do believe dating has rules and most of my success is due to following them stringently. Now is the time to embrace the unchangeable facts about dating that everyone single should live by. No matter what, you should never forget the following.

I don’t care how many cute couples you know who love each other from the bottom of their hearts, dating is superficial. No one can escape it and those who try quickly find their closet filled with the best Express has to offer, it attempts to “catch up.” What you look like matters. What you do for a living matters. What you wear and what you drive all make up the package you present when you date. Those who think they can skirt judgment or buck the system by choosing to ignore this principle are sadly mistaken and most likely lonely. No one can escape the fact that the better deal syndrome affects all single people. You may not care about what you look like, (trust me, we can tell) but your potential partner cares. But you wouldn’t know that because you don’t have one. My advice to you is to stop looking a hot ass mess and the got damn fool.

Human decency is a novel concept in dating because quite frankly, no one owes you anything. Statements like, “You should at least…” “Have the courtesy to at least….” Do you know what is less than least? Nothing and that’s just what we owe each other in dating. It’s a benefit and a curse. If you have plans for dinner and you get blown off, guess what that’s life. In dating when single men and women interact with strangers, who owe each other no explanations, no common courtesies, no ‘at least’; not a damn thing. Singles are always searching for answers and we get upset when others don’t do what we want them too. Still, when someone we are dating, that we think we had a connection with blows us off many singles want to know why? Why didn’t he call me back? Why didn’t she tell me she had a boyfriend? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know and neither will you, move on.

This brings me to my last principle of dating which is, everyone gets played. It’s happened to me, you and Jessica Simpson. There is no immunity against a person’s ability to make you feel stupid because you believed they were something they weren’t. Every single man and woman will eventually feel the fool for having cared for, trusted and invested in someone who meant them absolutely no good. There is no defense against putting yourself out there. The belief that single people have intentional walls up is false. It’s just hard to date knowing the high risk of being played, made to look and feel like boo boo the fool over some knuckle head that you barely knew. And nothing is worse than being played by someone that you didn’t even like! Who you only went out with so you wouldn’t feel like an asshole; been there, done that.

These dating laws can definitely create an aversion to dating. It would be so much easier if everyone followed the same rules but we don’t. If there was a dating rule book, what rules would you want in it? The Dating Truth™.com wants to know.

Continue Reading