DATING GUIDES

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25 Compliments that you should be giving in datingaftertheswipe Tinder advice

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13 thoughts on “DATING GUIDES

    1. Tinder is a great resource for meeting new people but you have to understand the context of the app and not take each engagement personal. If you’re traveling or in a new city I think Tinder is a great way to meet people.

  1. I had this guy in Facebook for the longest we never talked before. One day we met at this party, but he was with another girl. The night he talked to me around the table we were all sitting and was always talking to me even tho he was with this girl. The night I left he messages me on Facebook and told me to come back out to hang out more I didn’t go. We started talking over Facebook. The following weekend was an event in my town (he lives in another town like 3hlirs away) he told me he will come to the event because he wanted to come see me was the main reason. The night he came we had a good time until I had to leave he got upset. The other morning we met an talked very well took him around my Town to find good and so forth he then asked me to go with him to PG that day another town 3 more hours away from mine for another event I didn’t wa t to go, but I ended up going because my friend and his friend hooked up and they both convinced me to go. We spent that e tire day together even slept in the same hotel room that night.(think I might b going too fast?) the next day he drove us back home and asked me to go with him back to his home Town I didn’t accept and told him another time I would. Three days after I went to his house in his home Town and we connected while I was there he told me he really likes me. I left but it’s different when I left like we barely text or call I text him and he would reply once. Until like maybe 4 days after he texted me first and told me he is lonely home and wanted me to come and he called and we talked. I ended up going to his house the following day. I spent three days 2 nights at his place because a storm was passing through and I couldn’t leave the following day. Now I am home and it’s the same when I am there with him I feel sooo special but when I leave we barley talk over the phone? Should I be worried? Or am I just moving fast? I should I hat wait on his text?

    1. By the way I told you I met his friends and he made it known to them I am how babe. But I don’t know what to think honestly if he is serious or not and he is 12 years older than I am.

      1. Thank you for your comment. My advice is this. Enjoy the moment and when you want something, ask for it. I am convinced that men just do what they know how to do. Maybe he’s not a big texter or he’s out of experience with dating someone so far away. Give him as many chances as you can for him to do the right thing. Don’t be upset in what he hasn’t been doing unless you’ve expressed what you would prefer him to do. Don’t assume he knows. even the most basic behaviors can be unfamiliar to men, of any age. Treat him with as much optimism as you can. Communicate that you like him and reward his good behavior. Tell him you would like to hear from him more often and make sure that it comes from a place of pleasure and not validation. If you need him to contact you to feel good then you’re placing too much pressure on him. If you want him to contact you so you can progress the relationship and get to know him better, tell him that. I hope this was helpful.

  2. Hey Miss.Solomon!
    My name is Lola, recently I have been investing time and companionship into a young man who also was doing the same for me. We began have great deep conversations about life and about our spiritual lives, seeing as we are spiritually active. This young man…is everything that I look for. He believes the same things as me, he is sweet, loyal, smart, kind, funny, compassionate, gentle, goofy, handsome, and even sexy…things began getting complicated when I sat him down to let him know how I was feeling after two months…he responded in utter confusion and wasn’t sure if he wanted to date because he has never dated before…turns out he had other things he was struggling to overcome…so I decided to be patient, as time progressed we became closer…he began hugging me and he opens up to me so much..as I did as well. We continued have discussions about dating and he kept saying he just didn’t know, that he thought he would be bad at it..that maybe he was supposed to be single for life! I corrected him in saying that, because quite honestly, we will never truly know what Gods plan is for us. He eventually agreed…he actually called me and said he wanted to meet with my Dad and begin dating, he told me I was everything he looked for and that I was very pretty. He said he finally understood why people enter relationships. Two weeks later after a trip to a convention, he came back and said he was thinking he was confused again…the bottom line is that this entire time he has been confused, but still spending significant amounts of time with me and investing time into our companionship…so he came over last Monday and I asked him straight up what he wanted…and he said he liked me but that he didn’t want to date. So I said “well that was all you had to say!” So we just hung out..and as the night went on, we sat at the piano and played any and all the songs we could. I played the one song I knew “say something” and he just listened..he turned and looked at me, “what happens if you give up on me Lola?” I looked at him and said “you just said you do not want to date..” and he said “what if we go to college together next year and you meet someone else and begin dating them, and I begin to realize I am finally ready to date?” I said “well always wanted tell me how you feel..I will always listen!” So he got upset and his mood changed till we began watching hilarious YouTube videos on the sofa..before he left he said he was anxious to leave because he didn’t want me to overthink everything..and that he wasn’t sure if what he had said earlier and not dating was the right thing to say. “Can we still say I’m confused?” He asked. “Fine..” I replied. Last night, I called him to tell him I would be taking a step back from such a deep friendship with him until he untangled his mind…because day after day, my heart continues to fall so hard for him. I have grown to love this man Miss.Solomon…he told me that he didn’t want to date…but that I held the most real estate in his heart, that I am his bestest friend and he cars about me more then I will ever truly know. He has no reason to not date, he just says no…he says now that he finds some girls more attractive than me and that it would be wrong for him to date me if that is how he feels…that was rather hurtful to be frank. I need help, I will his friend, but I know that when things change for us…like the level of communication and the hanging out together that he will see just how much he depends on me for everything. It wrenches my heart to back up, I have known him since 8th grade…but I don’t want to break my own heart. Help me!!!!
    -Lola

    1. Thank you so much for reading and for reaching out to me. This is a beautiful description of what seems to be a very loving, intimate and fulfilling friendship. Trust me, I understand that what I’m about to share is easy for me because I’m on the outside and I’m not experiencing the same feelings that you are. I understand that in your shoes, it might be difficult to take suggestions on board but here is my advice.
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      Appreciate the beauty of what you have. Many of us don’t build the type of intimate and caring relationship that you have. We set too many parameters that people have to play a specific role in our lives or they can’t be in our lives. The fact that you are allowing him to be who he needs to be in the relationship is the reason, IMO, its grown so deeply intimate and enjoyable. That being said, you’re allowed to move on and find a man who appreciates you in a romantic way.
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      Just because two people are compatible doesn’t mean they are soul mates or meant to be together forever. You were honest in your feelings and he was honest in his. That is ALL you can ask for. If you need more, it’s YOUR responsibility to find a romantic relationship not keep him responsible for your fate. He has been honest with how he feels and what he wants. That is all he needs to be responsible for. Why sacrifice a beautiful friendship? You seem like a woman with her entire life ahead of her. Love is your right and it can come into your life in many forms. Your love for him only further shows evidence of your capacity to love. Take that caring, and expressive personality out into the world and open yourself to the possibility that another man is out there who actually wants a relationship.
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      Just because you want him to “come around” doesn’t mean you have to stay by his side until he does. Yes, you need to set boundaries for the friendship. Yes, you need to stop putting your romantic future in his hands. Yes, you need to open yourself to the possibility of finding a relationship elsewhere, if that is what you want. You have shown incredible maturity and it sounds like you have something really great with this guy. Don’t discount it, or punish yourself just because it isn’t a romantic relationship. There are couples who don’t have this level or intimacy, commitment or honesty.
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      You built a beautiful thing, don’t be sad that it isn’t going to be what you wanted. Be glad, that you know you’re capable of building a relationship so loving. Just build another one with someone else. I’m not saying that it will be easy but I want you to stay open to the idea that it’s possible. I hope this was helpful.

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