Relationship Advice for Men that Really Works

This post is a post from our partners.

When it comes to dating and flirting, there are certain do’s and don’ts that will go a long way towards determining the progress of your relationship. By following these golden rules you will guarantee that the object of your desire texts you after your first date, her casual tone disguising how eager she is to see you again.

Continue Reading

SHOULD YOU CALL?

dating advice should you call

“I haven’t heard from them, maybe I should call (her)/him?”

I hear this phrase often from single men and women; smart, professionals who typically wouldn’t have a desperate bone in their body.

Deciding whether to call someone can be a stressful decision.

  • You don’t want to look anxious.
  • You don’t want to get your feelings hurt.
  • If he or she doesn’t answer the phone then you have to decide if you should leave a message or call again? (And then leave a message.)

Deciding whether or not to call a date that you haven’t heard from is a complicated subject because we are conditioned to believe that if someone isn’t calling then they’re just not interested.


Yes it’s true that if they aren’t calling you then they aren’t into you, in some cases but in the tradition of empathy let’s say you have your wires crossed.

Let’s assume that your potential date really is busy or they somehow believe that you aren’t interested. For the sake of argument let’s say they lost your number. It happens!

There are times in dating when the other person is just as afraid to make the first move as you are so it can be helpful to be proactive and call or contact your date if you haven’t heard from them.

We all become in patient in dating when we feel the process isn’t moving fast enough. It’s likely that your potential date will follow up when they’re ready but the real question becomes: Can you wait that long? Are you patient, and/or confident enough, to believe that he or she hasn’t found anyone better?

DON’T CALL- Just to remind them that you exist.

They know! She hasn’t forgotten about you and he didn’t forget that he said he would call. If you truly believe that the two of you had great chemistry then call and invite your date somewhere fun but don’t expect them to jump into hot pursuit of you. Realize that even if they accept the date it doesn’t mean that they’re interested in dating you.

DON’T CALL- If (s)he said (s)he would call you and hasn’t.

The fact that you’re paying that close attention means that you need to dial down your feelings about this person. Something might have come up. Don’t get anxious or wait by your phone because you feel forgotten about. Give them a chance to call you, a week max, if you haven’t heard from them then call.

Note: Be pleasant and upbeat. Don’t give them the third degree about what they’ve been up to or why you haven’t heard from them. Chances are, if you don’t have a pleasant conversation, you won’t hear from them again.

DON’T CALL- Unless you had a great time together.

Great dates don’t happen often. If you feel like you had a blast together and you truly think there’s potential for more, then call.

If your last date wasn’t a blast then she/he won’t call and neither should you, unless it’s to apologize.

Evaluate the last time that you were together and consider on a scale of one to ten how amazing it was. If you truly had a great time, but haven’t heard from them, then call. Remind your date about something you talked about on the date, remind them of how much fun you had and tell him/her you’d like to do it again.

The key to knowing when you should call is patience.

  • Are you giving them enough time to miss you?
  • Do you know enough about their lifestyle to understand why he/she hasn’t called?
  • Are you displaying high value in your actions?

Next, figure out why you’re so concerned. Are you really interested in them or are you just afraid of rejection? Do you take their “not calling” as a sign that you’re a loser, ugly, un-dateable or destined to be alone?

Never get so wrapped up in someone you’ve just met to the point where you put your own life on hold. 

No man is interested in dating a woman who will put her life on hold for him or bend over backwards to be with him before she knows him. No woman is interested in dating a man who pursues her so feverishly it’s borderline stalking.

Have a little confidence and recognize that if your date hasn’t called or returned yours -you are still amazing either way. I hope this was helpful.

miss solomon

Continue Reading

Learn to Date Effectively to Find Love (for Indian-Americans and South Asian American women)

Author: Ami Santosh

 

It is easy to feel lost and confused in the world of dating. It is even more likely that this is the case when you do not have a cultural history that includes dating to find someone for a long-term relationship, which is often the case for children of immigrants from South Asia.

Often times this transition is even more difficult because parents hold tightly to their traditional culture while the children of immigrant parents spend their entire lives trying to adapt and fit into the society they have grown up in.

Those who have adapted to a new way of life in their current homeland find it difficult to stick to traditional methods such as arranged marriage which is why they turn to dating in the first place to meet and marry their mates.

Coming from this background, it is easy to get stuck in a place where instead of getting to know another individual, dating becomes about checking off a pre-determined list of acceptable traits and values while inadvertently dismissing the emotional connection that many people crave.

Instead of finding common activities and interests, individuals from such backgrounds can get swept up in giving more credence to professional accomplishments and externally-driven criteria instead of focusing on the personal values held by each person that often create a stable foundation from which to build a lifelong connection.

People who do not have experience dating and who don’t start dating until their late 20’s and 30’s face a lot of pressure to find someone quickly. When the process is short-circuited, many people find themselves unhappy or unable to maintain healthy relationships.

However, conventional dating advice doesn’t always help because it doesn’t take into account the unique cultural aspects that have affected individuals’ abilities to relate to the other gender in the same way as someone who has grown up in a more Westernized culture.

This is why it can be helpful to learn from those who have grown up in a similar background and have figured out how to navigate their cultural background and leverage it as they date and find love.

Some women find themselves torn between trying to please their parents and relatives while trying to find someone quickly so they can settle down and have a family; but deep down inside, they want romance and a connection based on mutual interests and values.

When they have not spent time defining their values which may be different from the values they grew up with, they find themselves realizing that what they thought they wanted may not necessarily suit them as adults.

There are many resources from books to dating and life coaches that can help you define what you want in a relationship, which will help set the stage to make dating an enjoyable and effective process to find the love of your life.

Read original article here…

About the Author

To find tips and insights specific to Indian-American and South Asian American women, check out www.abcddatingsecrets.com and the newly-released e-book Find the Love of Your Life (for South Asian American women) by Ami Santosh, available on Amazon, Apple iBooks, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Smashwords, and other popular e-book stores.

This is a sponsored post by ABCD Dating Secrets. 

Continue Reading

3 Reasons You Won’t Have A Marriage Like Your Parents

My parents are still married and have been for forty years.

Without their commitment to each other and their family, I’m not sure I’d be where I am today. As much as I respect their story, I know that the rules of dating have changed. You’ll never have the same marriage as your parents and that is a good thing.

To expect my dating experience would be anything like theirs has been one mistake I’ve made in my love life.

In a new Ebook, Find The Love of Your Life, released by Ami Santoosh the author tackles modern dating for South Asian American woman who has spent her formative years growing up in the U.S.

No matter your culture everyone is affected by the stigmas of tradition in marriage. What the book challenges, which everyone can relate to, is recognizing that times have changed and creating your own plan for changing with them when it comes to love.

Married by 25 with 2.5 kids, a stable career and a vacation home. To many this is the American dream and to some their parent’s marriage.
If you’re like me you realize that, in this era and at this age, the path to marriage and a family isn’t going to look like anything you’ve seen before.You won’t be married by 30 like you’re parents.

YOU WON’T MARRY YOUNG LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

In the country I was born, once you hit your thirties a man can consider a marriage to you a charitable contribution. The idea that a woman might be thirty and single, with no boyfriend is a foreign idea.

What I’ve learned is that falling in love and being married are not mutually exclusive. You can love multiple people in your lifetime and not feel pressured to marry the first one. Being over thirty and single doesn’t mean you haven’t found love, been loved or given love. It only means you didn’t make it your sole priority and that’s ok.

YOU WON’T HAVE KIDS LIKE YOUR PARENTS

The rush to get married, before the baby was born, was the original planned parenthood. In our world today numerous single men and women have children. Families are merged from the result of pre-marital sex and divorce giving us more family options than ever. You no longer need to be married to have children. Unlike your parents you have options when it comes to family planning that don’t have to include a legal union.

YOU WON’T BE SETTLED IN YOUR CAREER LIKE YOUR PARENTS

In her book, Find The Love of Your Life (For South Asian American Women), Ami Santoosh explains the pressures of pursuing a career even to the detriment of finding love. A saga most single professionals understand.
You will not stay with the same company for 30 years like your parents. The average millennial will have their first job for less than 3 years.

You will travel, you will get into debt, you will leave a job you hate, you will find a better job, you will start your own business, or you will be successful and still feel insecure in your career.
After graduate school, medical school, and possibly years of working abroad you might find the opportunity to settle down and get married. Maybe.

The traditions of marriage have served us well but there must have been flaws or they wouldn’t have changed. For better or worse, single men and women today can’t date the way their parents did and we all need to come to terms with that.

You will find love and you can be happy but what I’ve learned is marriage isn’t always the answer. Your story is your own so you should break it to your parents grand kids might not be included.

This post was sponsored by ABCD Dating Secrets.

For more information about the ebook and resources, please visit www.abcddatingsecrets.com.

Buy the book on AMAZON here…

how to get the date

Continue Reading