the dating truth flirt challenge

A few years ago, I was quoted as saying online dating isn’t for black people.

It’s 2016 and although I like the app, unfortunately, Tinder did not prove me wrong.

As a dating expert, and somewhat attractive woman, I’ve seen the evolution of the dating app for single straight people. Before trying it, I had been hearing about the app Tinder for quite sometime.

Like the lackluster “Grindr for straight people”, app before it Blendr, I expected Tinder to go the way of the Dodo before I ever made my way to the apps store for download.

To my surprise, as time went on, and more people began to utilize its functions I became curious about its effectiveness. I gave it a try and I’ve come to like it.

In the last eight years of my adulthood, I have had no problems meeting attractive, employed, and single men in person. In fact, as a dating expert a lot of my advice teaches how to do just that.

There’s a certain amount of charm that a woman just can’t convey through a picture.

So ideally if a single woman, such as myself wanted to meet a nice man, the streets are the place to go.

In the age we live in today, if it’s easier and we can be lazy then that’s the option most people take. Why actually get dressed and go to a bar when you have Tinder?

Why bother to send a woman a drink or use a witty pickup line, when you have Tinder?

It’s always been my belief that communicating online only perpetuates our fears of rejection and enables are insecurities of talking to strangers.

That being said, if Tinder was going to be as good as Grindr, I needed to see for myself.

Now as any person with a gay friend knows, Grindr is used for sex. (most of the time). If its bastard cousin Tinder were going to make it in the straight world, it would have to offer one thing: hot pictures of hot guys

At least that’s what I was expecting but this is what I found:

  • It’s either really good or really bad depending on your city.

  • Tinder is not for black people

  • I live in one of the whitest cities in America

  • No one should own that many Polo shirts

  • Men have no idea what women find sexy

  • I’m not ashamed to admit Tinder is complicated

  • I secretly enjoy the NOPE that flashes across rejected matches.

  • Some of the guys on Tinder, I know for a fact have girlfriends

  • I’m pretty cute

  • I would rather meet men in person because who you gonna believe an app, or your own eyes?

I’m not going to lie, as of the *original publication of this article, I’ve only been on Tinder for a total of 48 hours and by all accounts, mostly other people’s opinions, it’s a really cool app that might encourage singles to go on actual dates.

It can also prevent you from the possible catfish. But some reports are saying it’s an app used primarily for sex, and if that’s the case it’s no Grindr.

Don’t struggle with online dating. Buy my guide: AFTER THE SWIPE: 50 OPENING LINES THAT WORK ONLINE

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How To Write an Awesome Online Profile


Dating in the real word isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

From grade school to college it’s been ridiculously easy to meet new people but somehow in the adult world it requires the same skill and talent as an Olympic sport.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

You want to date. You want to have potentials. You’ve already somewhat given up on mankind but online dating might be just what you need to restore your faith.

Whether you’re paying your something 99 to popular sites or trying your hand at free options there’s a secret to successful online dating that will change the way you meet people on the web.

If you’re single and ready to meet amazing people then I want to empower with the right tools. There are tactics for attracting high quality dates online that very few singles know how to employ.


And add a f*cking exclamation point!

If you set out wanting to meet a great guy or girl, then you’ve already placed yourself in the failure category. Awesome people get recognized. You want an awesome person with amazing qualities to read about you and respond.

Those who date online are SICK of average!

Anyone who just wants a great guy/girl is lazy and unspecific and most times boring. (You can find that at your nearest church bingo.)

You want to attract dates that are sexy, funny, intelligent, kind, well-mannered and interesting right? Well you should. Because you’re online and essentially creating your perfect partner from scratch, why not target precise people.

Use words like awesome, epic, amazing, fantastic, outstanding etc, to set yourself apart from the status quo. Tell your reader, future potential dates, that YOU are the sh*t. You profile won’t read like anyone else’s and that’s incredible!


General profiles translate to insecure. Everyone has preferences. When you’re asked about yourself online it’s really an attempt to understand who you are by sharing what you like.

If you like everything are up for anything and care about something’s you will attract NO ONE!

Don’t be afraid of excluding those who aren’t into what you’re into. It doesn’t hurt to weed out riff raff.


The moment you post a picture that doesn’t accurately represent what you look like today you’re sending a message that you’re insecure about your looks. You’re not that lame are you?

Yes, some people are lazy and only want to respond to the cutest picture they see. You don’t want to date those people. You want a profile that screams INTERESTING making the picture just a side note.

Of course a hot picture might seem necessary but you will reduce the amount of time wasters trolling your page by including a picture that’s mediocre at best.

Because anyone who falls for a fancy picture isn’t very serious about dating online.

You can have incredible success dating online as well as off but you have to learn how to share who you are with others. You have to establish an effective way of telling the world how awesome you are!


Did you update your profile? Leave your comments below.

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How To Get The Most Out Of Online Dating

Don’t stop dating offline or connecting with other singles.

Online dating can start off as fun and exciting. If you haven’t tried it that means you haven’t failed so the possibilities are endless.

You might get so excited browsing profiles and checking for winks and emails that you disregard the fact that

1. The same people online are the same people in the real world

2. If you haven’t made strong connections dating in general, your online prospects will fizzle the minute you meet in person.

Many people try online dating as a last-ditch effort for finding potential dates. For whatever reasons you aren’t meeting eligible singles, or enough to satisfy your search for love the traditional way, so you go online to broaden your search.

It makes perfect sense.

Desperation rarely yields results.

I relate it to waiting for a check. When you need the money, is the one in a million instance where your impending check is mysteriously, “lost in the mail”. If you attempt to date online because your offline attempts have fallen flat, chances of success are slim.

The best reasons to date online are: to save time, and to meet potential dates from multiple cities.

I started my online dating experience as most people do, desperate for a date. A few years back, when the buzz of online dating was just a hum I found my love life in despair. I signed up with Match.com, paid my monthly fees then waited for Prince Charming to inbox me. It never happened.

That experience left me with a negative perception of online dating. While 5% of marriages are a result of online dating, the best way to meet the love of your life is still the good old-fashioned way; through someone you know.

I didn’t realize, as many singles don’t, why online dating never worked for me and I found myself still in despair after the fact.

I think online dating can be a great tool in dating overall, but let me share a few tips that will make your experience a tad more successful.

Don’t be desperate.

If you’re trying online dating because you feel in despair about your love life, don’t. The terms commitment minded and desperate are often interchangeable when it comes to dating online. While you see yourself as ‘sick of the bullshit’ and ‘ready to settle down’ potential dates see you as a red alert, stage 5-clinger.

Don’t just “go on dates”.

I’ve seen it happen a million times. You message someone online, and then you exchange emails or phone numbers. You arrange a date. You meet, have no chemistry then never speak again. Rinse and repeat.

The advantage to dating online is the ability to speak to and email with someone, even multiple people before you decide to go on a date. Chances are you will like someone more in person once you know a little about them first.

When you find someone online that peaks your interest, take time to talk on the phone. You can understand their sense of humor, learn their personality and establish a level of comfort.

When you’re commitment-minded, taking the time to get to know someone is worth is. If you just need a date, online dating isn’t going to help your search for love or a relationship.

Keep dating offline. Online dating takes time. Just because you’ve set up a profile doesn’t mean meeting someone off-line is out of the question. While you might spend hours searching profiles, there are still several potential dates in the real world that you have yet to connect with. Be open to meeting the person that is right for you at all times, not just when you’re in front of a computer.

I want you to try online dating for yourself. Join the ‘20 Days Of Online Dating Challenge’, launching tomorrow! June 1st.

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