Everything You Need To Know About A Great First Date

Have you ever asked yourself, “Do they like me?” or “Will I see them again?” after a first date?

Assuming that you were slightly interested in the romantic possibilities with this person when you planned the date, afterwards you might have many questions running through your mind.

Doubts really; about how they felt about you and the date overall.

These feelings are completely naturally but absolutely detrimental to first date success. What single men and women don’t seem to know or realize is: The point of a first date is to get a second date.

Matchmaker, author and relationship expert Rachel Greenwald describes it best in an excerpt from her best-selling book,

“Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love . . . Or Never Call Back”

The Goal of a First Date

Here’s a little multiple-choice quiz: What’s the goal of a first date?

a.)To allow *your date to get to know you, or to
b.)To get *your date to want a second date with you?

The answer, in my opinion, is B. If your first instinct was to say A, stop and consider something for a moment. No one can accurately assess a person on a first date, no matter how astute they their instincts are.

People behave abnormally (either a little or a lot) on first dates because they’re either nervous, cynical, overeager, shy, keeping their guard up, having a bad day or drinking too much. How many times have you jumped to negative conclusions about somebody new (a coworker or neighbor, for example), only to end up liking that person later?

A *person cannot really determine on a first date that you are warm, kind, brilliant, interesting, and great at math. What a *person can determine on a first date is whether *they’re attracted to you and intrigued enough by you to want to know the real you. The problem is that *they won’t meet the real you (and you won’t meet the real them) If *they don’t want a second date.

…The point is not to change any of the qualities that make you you, but rather to keep the ball in your court.

All of us would like to think we are special (I’m very happy that you were hugged as a child), but most of us are the rule, not the exception. While you may be willing to put all your cards on the table on a first date (talk about your ex and your stint seeing a therapist), it isn’t a good idea.

First of all, typical first dates are with strangers or people we don’t know very well. Those who have no distinction between what they would tell a stranger and their closest friends are weirdos not received well. It isn’t natural or expected to be so open about your personal life, especially with a person that you don’t really know.

When singles share extremely personal information on a first date, they are asking their date to do what most people hate doing; care. Why should they care about anything you say? Who are you to them?

On a first date your goal is to build desire, chemistry, excitement, intrigue and interest in getting to know you. What you should divulge on a first date is the preview to the academy-award winning movie that is your life. Giving only the highlights, tidbits and most fascinating sound bites. When the night is over, the only question on your mind should be ,“Do I want to see them again?”

Once you succeed on a first date, you can bet that this person will want to see you.

*words were changed to be more gender neutral


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5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

5 habits that chase men away

“Strangers are friends you have yet to meet”

Has this ever happened to you… you meet a guy that you like, and you have a great conversation. You’re flirting laughing and seemingly having a great time. You’re sure he’s going to ask for your number and you can’t wait until your first date. The perfect scenario is playing out in your mind but what happens next is a combination of faith, luck and extreme discipline.

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Why Women Should Never Split The Check

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Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition – Timothy Leary

When was the last time you paid for a date?

This week I was reading one of my favorite dating advice blogs, www.evanmarckatz.com. He listed an interesting mix of articles and websites that had caught his attention, the #2 most visited being a link to poll results done by LearnVest about who should pick up the check on a date.

Ultimately the popular answer was the man or (in the case of same-sex relationships) whoever asks.

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How To Have The Kind Of Fun That Men Like On A First Date

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.

— Albert Einstein

On a scale from 1-10 how great was your last first date?

It blows my mind that some women don’t get calls back after the first date. I don’t want to say that men are easy to please but men are easy to please. As you should already know, the goal of the first date is to get a second date. Obvs, if he’s not calling you, your ass has failed. But how?

Where did you go wrong?

What did you do to make this man feel he knew enough about you to make an executive decision to never see you again?

Well, it boils down to one reason that trumps all other factors: you just weren’t fun.

Men don’t need logical, elaborate reasons to do anything other than; it’s fun. If something is fun, as stupid as a woman might think it is, a man will likely have no problems taking part. If you had a first date, that in your mind went amazing but the man never called you for another, there is one main reason is he just didn’t have fun with you.

Some women aren’t interested in making a date fun for a man, for them it’s an interview. They want to know more about him, if he’s good enough for them and if he’s what they’ve been looking for. More than anything, why is he still single, what’s wrong with him. Good luck with that.

So what do men consider fun?

Spending time with you is fun. You’ve already got an in because men consider spending time with an attractive woman in general, fun. This is why many men don’t want to go on real “dates” or plan ahead of time because in their mind, anything they do with you is going to be fun. (It’s not always him being lazy)
This is hard for women to understand because we don’t feel this way. Some men’s company without a delicious meal, drinks and an action packed movie isn’t fun at all.

For this reason be easy-going. Stay away from polarizing subjects especially ones you’re extremely passionate about. Save the passion for your next date. Talk about general topics and things you love, not just subjects that you love to argue over.

Being flirtatious is fun. Men love flirting. (The ones that are good at it) They like making women smile and the sound of you laughing at their corny ass jokes. Flirting done right is sensual, stimulating and arousing. It’s a game of the mind that men love to play. Men like to feel like you’re into them not like you’re scared of them. We all get nervous on dates but we’re adults and there is an expectation of expressed interest. Otherwise, no second date for you.

Make him feel good is fun. Everyone enjoys positive experiences and the person with the higher self-esteem (ahem honey, that’s you) is going to be responsible for leading the charge. It baffles me how women expect to get to know a man on a first date by doing all the talking.
According to the rules of seduction the person who says the least, has to most power. Compliment him, tell him he’s smart but let him finish a sentence. Ask him interesting questions and most importantly let him do the talking. Men may not like to communicate feelings but get them on a funny story involving their buddies or they’re favorite episode of ‘Family Guy’ and they never shut up.

Did I miss anything? If you know other kinds of fun leave your comment below.

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How To Ensure Your First Date Leads To A Second Date

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