No matter what you believe about dating and being single, you must understand this simple truth. If people don’t like you, they won’t date you.
How can anyone like you if they won’t take the time to get to know you? Most single people remain single because they’re not good at conversation. Conversations are what begin any interaction. They are your gateway to more dates.
When you can hold an interesting conversation you create connections with people, they like you and want to date you. Your conversation is the reason that strangers pursue getting to know you.
Without the ability to hold stimulating conversation dating can be awkward.
Think about the last great conversation you had with a stranger or potential date. What did you talk about? What was the tone? Who initiated it? Conversations are something that will happen once you go on a date so its best to practice as often as possible and the good news is, you can practice anywhere.
Keep in mind the goal of the conversation is to appear attractive to the person that you’re talking to.
You don’t necessarily have to feel confident or in total control but you can employ the following tips to help the interaction go smoothly.
Limit your talking.
When I’m nervous I can talk a lot! When I’m excited I talk a lot! It doesn’t take much encouragement for 10,000 words to pour out of my mouth. So I had to check myself.
When you engage in conversation, listen. Speak then pause. Once the other person has finished speaking, pause. Don’t pounce on the open space like a cat on a mouse. Be patient when speaking, even if it seems the other person is in a hurry.
I can’t tell you how many people are completely unaware of how negative they actually are. Everything out of their mouth is a wine, or complaint. What you hate and why you hate it can be pacifying topics but it doesn’t always make the other person feel positive about you.
The only way to ensure that you’ll be liked is if you speak positively and with an upbeat demeanor. Express happiness and content and those feelings with be attributed to you.
Most people believe that they’re being genuine when they’re using another person for companionship. Conversation is such an interesting tool because when you are lonely it’s your connection to the world. And many people spark conversation because they are lonely and they are using others to fill a need or void.
These types of interactions are draining and unappealing. Create a comfortable space for the conversation to grow organically. If you have to force dialogue move on.
More so, if the other person isn’t into the conversation and you don’t notice, then you’re not being genuine. If you cared about them you would make the dealings more mutually enjoyable.
When you begin your day, open up to the world. Allow yourself to speak to others and for others to engage you. Whether it’s at the coffee shop, the airport or a local Subway restaurant, don’t shrink into the background.
That’s what you do when you don’t want dates, or to find love.