7 Reasons It’s Definitely You, Not Them

7 signs its you not them

Who is to blame when the relationship doesn’t work out?

In most cases the other person might present a case that it’s their schedule or relationship readiness that is the cause of the separation but they’re just being nice.

It’s definitely you.

You have to take complete control of the image you’re presenting to the world. You have to be clear on the message you’re sending. When it comes to desire, you have to know how to create desire in others for you.

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Have you ever seen a couple and thought, “Why is she with him?” Or “What does he see in her?”

To an outsider the relationship might seem mismatched but in reality it probably fell together like most relationships do: by making the person feel better or making the person become better.

Every human being, no matter where they are in their life, has the innate desire for growth. We all want to be “better” people. You have the power to date any person you want by applying this principle.

Anyone will date you if you help them feel better or be better.

So what does this mean? We see so many people in this world who settle down with partners we don’t think are their “type”.

When we think of athletes or celebrities, we often wonder, “What did they see in that one person,” out of the many people they meet or have access to?

The reason: this person had the ability to change the other person’s state. They were able to make their partner feel a specific way that inspired attachment. So how did they do this?

They recognized how the other person desired to feel then they made them feel that way.

If you want to have your choice in dating, or get commitment from another person then you must help others feel better or be better.

This boils down to basic value proposition. We think that we need to buy people things, or do what they want in order to be desirable. Worst, we think we have to be way better looking than we are but none of that is true.

You only have to know how the other person desires to feel and help them feel that way.
Everyone has desires. How we feel in this moment may or may not be how we truly desire to feel. Have you ever dated someone who made you feel “alive” or “smart” or “sexy”? These are all desired feelings.

If you can identify how someone desires to feel then you can begin to build a relationship. We are all looking to improve our emotional state. We want to feel better, even when we feel relatively happy.

What stops us from adding this kind of value to the people we want to date is we assume the smart, rich, popular or attractive people we want don’t have problems.

We assume that the people we like are always happy and have incredibly high self-esteem or perfect lives.

Logically, we know this isn’t true.

Everyone has issues that prevent them from being the person they would truly like to be. Everyone, no matter how wonderful their life seems, has room for personal growth.

This is why we seek partners because we believe that something in our life is missing that can only be found in another person.

The concept of making someone feel better or become a better person boils down to your value adding ability. It’s not good enough to just be a kind person who can do things for others when asked. You have to be a little more strategic.

You know that we all want to feel better. We want to feel smarter, happier, sexier, more capable, more successful etc…

  1. You must determine how you can contribute to the state that someone is in. Compliments are a great way to start. When you affirm what someone believes to be true about themselves you improve their mood.

  2. You must ask the right questions. Ask questions about someone’s passions, hobbies, talents and frustrations. Ask questions that will make others think or have to recall the answer. Stimulating the brain can improve our mood.

  3. You must make their feelings a priority. It would be a wonderful world if everything we did for others was equally reciprocated but its not. Sometimes you have to give, give and give to another person knowing that it will be worth it. You’re investing in the relationship.

Just like with any invest, some are wiser than others. Some yield higher returns.

Making the betterment of your date a priority is a good investment if they’re a good person. Once you decide who to engage with, put their feelings before yours. Otherwise you’re not coupling you’re competing.

You’re reward in the end will be someone attached to how you make them feel.

I hope this was helpful.

miss solomon

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The X Factor That Makes You More Attractive

If you want potential dates to be open and receptive to dating you it’s critical to maintain a high level of positive energy.

In this video I explain why positive energy is so important and how you can improve your personal energy and build a connection with new people.

We communicate in three ways through words, body language and with our energy. Unfortunately too many singles think negatively about themselves. They harbor a bad attitude about who they are and that attitude is adopted by potential dates.

Energy is transferred but it can’t always be interpreted. It’s that je ne sais quoi. Your personal energy, when felt by others, can increase chemistry and trust or it can diminish it.

If you don’t like yourself then other people won’t like you.

Our personal energy tells other people how to feel about us.
If someone believes your energy and your actions are incongruent, they will mistrust you.

Your negative energy makes you come across as ‘not that great’ or ‘not that important’ because inside that’s how you truly feel. What you will find that the most charismatic people have in common is that on a core level they like themselves. If you don’t like yourself no matter how well you think you’re fooling your audience your energy will give you away.

It’s important to give yourself a pep talk and make sure that you’re feeling good about yourself before going on a date or meeting potential dates. Your positive self-talk will not only make others feel at ease around you but it will make them like you more.

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The fastest way to make a connection with someone is to give them a genuine compliment.

The secret to dating is getting people to like you. Unfortunately most people think they can achieve this by telling someone else how wonderful they are.

The real secret is to tell them how great they are.

Giving great compliments raises your social profile. It’s easy and effective and doesn’t require taking too much risk. If you’ve ever missed an opportunity to speak with a handsome stranger or a beautiful woman because you didn’t know what to say or how to approach then you should use great compliments. If you’ve struggled to find the right thing to say on a date or during a first meeting then utilize the power of compliments.

I have a trick that works wonders and it’s compliments. They are the easiest way to make connections and get other people to like you.

My latest guide gives you proven compliments that will take anyone’s guard down and create more opportunities for you to connect with the right people. Whether you use them in dating or in everyday life, these tested compliments do something incredible. They make others feel good.

Could you imagine using magic words that suddenly make you popular and liked by everyone? These compliments do just that.

5 Easy Steps To Giving A Great Compliment

Start with strangers.

Compliments are best when they’re absolutely free. With no expectation or strings attached give as many compliments as you can. Think of a compliment as a way to appreciate others. Compliments are a way to say what is kind and true about someone else. It opens the door to be seen. If you find it difficult to speak to strangers then you might be hiding from the attention of others. Instead of asking for the attention take it off of yourself and give it to others.

Make it genuine.

Say what you truly believe. A compliment is an expressed appreciation for something. If you are impressed by the way someone behaves or dresses, say so. Recognize with true passion the good other people do. Live by the motto, if you think it then say it. The moment a kind thought pops into your head about someone, share it.

Keep eye contact.

Looking towards the floor or ceiling is a clear sign of insecurity. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who won’t look you in the eyes. A great compliment must be accompanied by strong eye contact. Step out of your comfort zone and keep your eyes focused on the people that you speak with.

Speak with authority.

What you say is just the start, how you say it makes it strong. It’s your intonation and intent that can catapult a compliment from ok to amazing. Authority means you know what you’re talking about. At first it might not seem natural but with practice you can give a compliment with weight. You can learn that true connection happens when you’re willing to make others feel important. It doesn’t make you small to make others feel big. Empower yourself to make others have a better day or experience because of something that you said.

Do it everyday.

Giving compliments is only effective when done on a regular basis. You won’t gain anything by just giving a compliment once in awhile. If you’re going to boost your confidence, and truly make an impact you have to put this into consistent action. Just do it.

“25 Compliments” is my secret weapon to likability and the exact phrases I use in my own life to create massive appeal and amazing connections. I hope this was helpful.

miss solomon

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